Join Alex DatePsych, a Neuroscience and Behavioral Science researcher specializing in dating and attractiveness, as he delves into the surprising decline in sexual activity. Discover how dating apps and societal changes are reshaping relationship dynamics. Alex discusses why young men may struggle more than ever in dating, the shifts in women’s sexual desire, and the implications of the Me Too movement. With insights on inceldom and the complexities of attraction, this conversation offers a thought-provoking look at modern romance.
Sexlessness is on the rise due to dating app culture, sexual revolution, and hormonal birth control.
Women's desires decline faster in marriages, raising standards and leading to incel beliefs based on looks.
Attractiveness involves averageness and symmetry over extreme masculinity; women prioritize pro-social behavior.
Anxiety, depression, and autism intersect with physical attractiveness to impact relationships; narcissism predicts attractiveness better than Machiavellianism.
Deep dives
Women's Preferences in Short-Term Mating
Women's short-term mating strategies may not be as prevalent as previously believed, with recent research challenging the dual mate hypothesis. A new paradigm suggests that short-term mating could serve as a stepping stone to long-term mating rather than a distinct strategy. Factors such as sociosexuality, good genes, and money may incentivize short-term mating, with mate switching potentially reflecting a natural transition between relationship phases rather than standalone strategies.
Attractiveness and Short-Term Mating
The notion that women overwhelmingly prefer extremely masculine facial features is challenged by research indicating that an average, symmetrical face is often deemed most attractive. Men's perceptions of what women find appealing in terms of physical features may not align with actual preferences, highlighting the significance of averageness and facial symmetry in attractiveness.
Misconceptions in Male-Female Attraction
Men's beliefs that women are drawn to antisocial behaviors are often inaccurate, as studies suggest that women do not typically favor such traits. This misconception underscores the importance of understanding actual female preferences, which may prioritize pro-social behavior and other factors over antisocial traits.
Intersection of Looks and Personality in Dating
The challenges faced by individuals with anxiety, depression, or autism in forming relationships may intersect with physical attractiveness to impact their dating experiences. While attractiveness plays a role, personality traits and mental health conditions can significantly influence relationship dynamics, affecting how individuals navigate the dating landscape.
Attractiveness Predictors: Traits and Behaviors
Narcissism is found to predict attractiveness better than Machiavellianism, with the dark triad traits being antisocial, psychopathy, and narcissism. Narcissists' focus on appearance and distinct behavior contribute to their appeal. In contrast, Machiavellianism does not strongly correlate with attractiveness or mating success, encouraging individuals to consider these differences.
Personal Appearance Optimization and Partner Preferences
Seth Stevens Davidowitz's data-driven approach to personal appearance optimization highlights the value of tailored self-presentation. His experimentation with various styles, such as beard and glasses, led to attracting a partner based on distinct preferences. Partner preferences demonstrate the appeal of specific traits like nerdiness, showcasing the effectiveness of embracing individual strengths in attracting potential partners.
Relationship Dynamics and Misconceptions
Exploring the interplay between pick-up culture and incel communities reveals disillusionment with narrow relationship approaches. Successful pick-up strategies can create a sense of disconnect from one's true self, leading to negative perceptions of one's lovability. The transition from pick-up artistry to incel ideology signifies the peril of undermining genuine connections for contrived social strategies.
Alex DatePsych is a Neuroscience and Behavioural Science researcher whose work focuses on attractiveness and dating.
We are in a new age of sexlessness. It could be that right now, the human race is having less sex than ever before. Given the rise of dating apps, the sexual revolution and hormonal birth control, how is this happening?
Expect to learn what the science says about whether girls find it creepy to be approached, whether dating is harder for young men now than in the past, why women's sexual desire declines at twice the rate of mens' in marriages, why there is a PUA to Incel Pipeline, if it's true that women's standards have risen over the last few decades, whether inceldom is all about looks and much more...
