How to Fail Better (from Fail Better with David Duchovny)
Sep 2, 2024
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In a thought-provoking conversation, Kumail Nanjiani, an acclaimed actor and comedian, shares his journey toward embracing failure as a pathway to growth. He discusses the need to shift our perception of failure and highlights the value of authenticity over commercial success. The duo reflect on their artistic journeys, the tension between personal identity and societal norms, and the transformative power of meaningful relationships. They delve into the connection between masculinity and vulnerability, advocating for joy and creativity in both art and life.
Embracing failure as a common human experience opens the door to personal growth and deeper self-understanding in life.
Kumail Nanjiani emphasizes vulnerability and emotional openness in relationships, showing how artistic collaboration strengthens bonds with his wife.
Redefining success by prioritizing internal fulfillment over external accolades encourages a joyful engagement with one's creative passions.
Deep dives
The Universality of Failure
Failure is an inherent part of being human and is experienced by everyone. Despite its commonality, there is a societal tendency to fear and distract ourselves from it. The discussion revolves around how many successful individuals perceive failures not as setbacks, but as valuable opportunities for personal growth and learning. Embracing failure becomes essential to understanding oneself and navigating life's challenges more effectively.
Personal Relationships and Creative Expression
The conversation touches on the relationship dynamics between Kumail Nanjiani and his wife, emphasizing how their artistic collaborations enhance their bond. Their shared experiences in creating art serve as a foundation for understanding and support within their marriage. Kumail reflects on how being vulnerable and open about his emotions contributes positively to their relationship. This connection exemplifies how creative endeavors can deepen intimacy between partners.
Authenticity in Performance
Kumail shares insights into his early struggles with self-expression, particularly in the context of comedy and acting. He discusses the transformation he underwent as he embraced his unique voice, moving away from imitation towards authenticity. This journey illustrates the importance of recognizing one’s individuality as a source of strength rather than viewing it as a limitation. The shift to valuing joyful expression in his work has fundamentally reshaped his approach to acting.
Rethinking Masculinity and Emotional Expression
The dialogue includes an exploration of traditional notions of masculinity, specifically the suppression of emotions in men. Kumail advocates for acknowledging vulnerability as a sign of strength, challenging the stereotype that men must remain stoic. He shares how portraying a character in a superhero film allowed him to redefine masculinity by showcasing emotional depth and empathy. This progressive view advocates for more comprehensive emotional experiences in cinematic representations of male characters.
Redefining Success Beyond External Validation
A critical insight shared pertains to the redefinition of success, moving away from external accolades towards internal fulfillment. Kumail discusses how his perspective changed, emphasizing the joy of the artistic process over the pressure of results. He underscores the importance of finding intrinsic value in work instead of being driven by the desire for recognition or approval. This statement encourages individuals to seek personal satisfaction and validation through their passions rather than societal metrics of success.
To be human is to fail — period. And not just to fail once, but to fail a lot. As the author Samuel Beckett said: “Fail again. Fail better.” Why are we, and so many others, so deeply concerned by failure? And if it’s something we all do so often, why are we so afraid of it — especially those of us here in win-at-all-costs America? This is an episode of Fail Better with David Duchovny, from Lemonada Media.
Join host David Duchovny as he sits down with actor and comedian Kumail Nanjiani as they share Kumail’s recently found new ways of approaching his life, relationship and career with more presence and joy, rather than stressing about the outcome. Listen to new episodes of Fail Better wherever you get your podcasts.