Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships 544 - Are You Sabotaging Your Relationships by Seeking Security?
6 snips
Aug 26, 2025 This discussion dives into the complex desire for security in relationships, especially amidst economic uncertainty. It reveals how seeking security can paradoxically lead to feelings of insecurity and anxiety. Insights emphasize the importance of vulnerability and genuine independence, while critiquing unrealistic expectations. The impact of technology on attachment styles and the dynamics of reassurance-seeking is explored, along with practical exercises to enhance self-awareness and foster healthier connections.
AI Snips
Chapters
Books
Transcript
Episode notes
Dependence Builds Independence
- Dependence on trusted people increases personal independence rather than causing codependency.
- Building reliable support networks empowers exploration and wellbeing.
Romance Panic In Romania
- Emily panicked when Jace didn't text back during a Romania trip and imagined worst-case scenarios.
- Lack of communication triggered intense catastrophic thinking despite likely benign reasons.
Reassurance Can Backfire
- Excessive reassurance-seeking (ERS) predicts decreasing trust over time for anxiously attached people.
- Asking for reassurance often can worsen your own feelings of trust.
