Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled Can We Be Sad or Angry And Still Be Unruffled?
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Dec 30, 2025 Exploring the reality of parenting emotions, the discussion highlights the struggle of staying calm amidst toddler chaos. Janet elaborates on being 'unruffled' as understanding, not suppressing, feelings. She emphasizes the importance of perceiving children's struggles with empathy, rather than reacting with frustration. Practical tips include stepping away to calm down and reflecting on personal triggers. The episode also addresses the challenge of handling rejection from toddlers and the misconception that children can fulfill adult emotional needs.
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Behavior Is Impulse, Not Intent
- Children’s challenging behaviors usually come from impulse and dysregulation rather than malice.
- Shifting perception to "my child is having a hard time" reduces parental reactivity and increases compassion.
Candy Bar Impulse Example
- Janet uses a candy-bar-on-a-diet example to illustrate impulse behavior in adults.
- The story shows impulses happen without full reasoning and mirror toddler dysregulation.
Perception Changes Parental Emotion
- How we perceive our child's actions shapes how we feel about them.
- Practicing a new lens (they're having a hard time) is the main route to genuinely feeling less ruffled.
