Mean Girls, Friendship Red Flags & Letting Go of Toxic People with Christie Ferrari

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In this week’s episode of Not Alone, Valeria sits down with clinical psychologist and friendship expert Christie Ferrari to unpack the complicated world of adult friendships. They explore why friends can feel so different after childhood, and why we sometimes fight to keep certain people in our lives while letting go of others. Christie introduces the concept of growth flags vs. red flags and helps us identify what healthy, evolving friendships look like versus the ones that may be holding us back.

Together, Valeria and Christie dive into questions we all face: What kind of friend am I? Am I a fringe friend? How do I deal with “mean girls” even as an adult? From cultural differences in how friendships form, to tips for approaching conflict, to understanding when it’s time to quietly distance yourself, this conversation offers both validation and practical tools for navigating relationships. If you’ve ever questioned your place in a friend group or wondered how to deepen your connections, this episode is a must-listen.

Follow Christie on Social Media

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/christie_ferrari/?hl=en 

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@christieferrari?lang=en 

Website: https://www.christieferrari.com/

Subscribe to Assertive You: https://www.christieferrari.com/assertive-you

Book a session with Christie: https://www.christieferrari.com/services

 

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Follow me: https://www.instagram.com/valerialipovetsky/ 

What we talked about: 

0:38 - Valeria sets up the episode about friendships

3:52 - Start of the conversation

4:01 - Introducing Christie Ferrari

6:33 - Why adult friendships seem so different

8:28 - Why we work for friendships & why we let them go

9:48 - Growth flags vs red flags

12:38 - Understanding what kind of friend you are

15:12 - Clearstem Ad

16:35 - Vuori Ad

17:57 - Christie’s draw to studying friendships

18:49 - The importance of being assertive

20:28 - What is a fringe friend?

23:18 - Helping a fringe friend 

25:35 - Tips to find good friends

27:42 - Christie’s story on being a fringe friend

28:17 - Dealing with Mean Girls

29:29 - Why Mean Girls exist in adulthood

31:03 - Cultural friendship differences

32:05 - How Mean Girls lose power

34:10 - Approaching a friend with an issue

36:36 - When to let a friendship go

37:25 - Quiet distancing

40:14 - Mourning friendships

41:07 - Having more than one “best friend”

43:56 - Trying a friendship reset

44:48 - What healthy friendships look like

45:34 - Men’s reactions to female friendships

47:46 - Why friendships are easier in your 20s

48:35 - Underrated green flags

49:01 - Rapid Fire Questions

51:19 - Christie’s Reading Rec   

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