Choose to be Curious Ep. #303: Curiosity & Finding Good, with Brian Fretwell
Oct 29, 2025
Brian Fretwell, a Connection Curiosity Champion and former juvenile corrections teacher, dives into the power of questions over advice. He emphasizes how to learn from successes rather than mistakes. Using metaphors like blueberries, he illustrates how connection boosts confidence and memory. The discussion includes his FIRES model, which links feelings to strengths, and how storytelling shapes group dynamics in achieving shared goals. Fretwell's insights serve as a guide for effective communication and building connections.
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Change Comes From Inside
- Changing behavior requires questions that help people see themselves differently.
- You cannot convince someone; insight must come from inside.
Use Honest Belief To Shape Questions
- Believe there's good in the person and let that honesty shape your questions.
- Ask to pull out strengths, values, and effort rather than just expressing care.
Brains Remember Mistakes, Not Wins
- Our brains default to ruminating on mistakes, not successes, which hides achievements.
- External prompts help the brain register successes and shift behavior.