Learn True Health with Ashley James 495 Creating Dynamic Awareness To Restore Mental and Emotional Freedom, Healing Sadness, Anger, Boundaries, Communication, Relationships, Dr. Dain Heer
Your Three Action Steps: 1) Please share your testimonials by emailing support@learntruehealth.com 2) Get the foundations of health at FreeDoctorCourse.com 3) Structured Water! Check it out and use coupon code LTH at: https://www.learntruehealth.com/structuredwater
495: Unlock Mental and Emotional Freedom, Dr. Dain Heerhttps://www.learntruehealth.com/unlock-mental-and-emotional-freedom-dr-dain-heer
Our emotions are constantly on the move, rising and falling as we try to navigate through life. Our reactions to what's happening in our world may cause us to hold ourselves back from going after what we want (or are afraid of) which creates discord and imbalance in our lives. In this episode, Dr. Dain Heer speaks about tools and strategies to help us work through this process of emotional healing so that we can create more balance in life and feel happier!
Highlights:
- Access Consciousness
- Anti-consciousness
- Tapping into awareness of the future
- Finding your inner authentic voice
- On the issue of suicide
- Asking yourself, “who does it belong to?”
- POC and POD
Intro:
Hello, true health seeker, and welcome to another exciting episode of the Learn True Health podcast and welcome to 2023. I know we’re in full swing now. Can’t believe this is the 12th day into 2023. I feel amazing, by the way. I’ve had a really amazing New Year’s. Very cathartic and I can’t wait to share more with you in the next few episodes as kind of my story will unfold. But I do have a few things I want to tell you that are really important before you get to today’s interview, which is phenomenal, by the way. I’m really excited about the techniques that he teaches in today’s interview. I think it’s beneficial for everyone to hear.
First of all, episode 500 is coming up. It’s a pretty big deal. I’d love to hear your testimonials. For episode 500, I’m planning a testimonial episode. I’ve had some really great ones shared with me. And if you have a testimonial, and what I mean by that is, you’re in healing journey and if anything you’ve learned from the Learn True Health podcast or our Facebook group, anything you’ve learned from me or my guest has helped you along your journey, I’d love to hear your testimonial. You can record yourself. Just put your phone on you and record yourself and then shoot it to me. You can email to me, support@learntruehealth.com or you can find me on Facebook. If you go to Learntruehealth.com/group, that’ll take you straight to our Facebook group. Feel free to join it and you can hit me up there and give me the testimonial. Or you can type it out if you like. Or transcribe it. Or just record an audio, however you want to get me. Your testimonial – I’d love to have it and it could be two minutes long or ten minutes long. Either way.
The reason why I’m collecting these testimonials for this episode, for episode that’s coming up, episode 500, is when I was suffering and throughout my life there have been moments where I was at really low points. Hearing stories of success because I couldn’t see my way out of the darkness, of the pain, and seeing people who had been through what I had been through or in a similar experience and then come out the other side and they were thriving, seeing them succeed gave me hope to keep going. And I want to give that hope, I want to extend that hope to those who are suffering. I suffered for many years and the suffering didn’t have to happen, and that's the part that angers me but motivates me, right, because the suffering is optional. But when I was going through it, it wasn’t optional. It was what I was going through. And I found the tools and the resources to end my suffering, to heal my body emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, I was able to overcome those things. That's why I do this podcast, to share these tools with you to help you and your suffering, to help you get on the other side of your healing.
Now, healing is a journey whenever done, right? You don’t just go, “Oh, I’m done, I’m healed.” You're always growing and so am I. But I’d like you to get a point where life is like living is easy. Like it’s not uncomfortable to be in your own body, right? Living is fantastic. I want you to be on that side of the river with me, right? So I’m going to help you. We’re going to build that bridge to get on that side. Because right now, I’m on that side. I’m still growing, I’m still healing. I still have health goals. My life in my body is no longer suffering.
So, with testimonials, you get to hear from real people, real listeners who have been able to cross that bridge and get to the other side. I want you to have the same thing. I’ve got some great testimonials about migraines, hormones, digestive issues. There's even one testimonial where a listener was able to save her mom’s life. Just big stuff. So, no matter how big or how small you think your testimonials, if you have one, please share it with me. I’d love to include it in that episode. Let’s help inspire those who want to be able to get on the other side but maybe just they can’t see their way out and let’s help motivate them and encourage them to get to that place.
So anyways, who doesn’t love a great success story? Who does not love that? I cry, I weep, tears of joy and love and gratitude and praise. So happy to hear people’s transformation stories. So, please, share them, support@learntruehealth.com, I’d love to hear them.
The next thing I want to let you know. This is the beginning of the year and a lot of people are looking to create new health habits. I’ve got a fantastic free course for you that I designed with some naturopathic physicians. We filmed it. It’s called Freedoctorcourse.com and I mean it, it is free. There's no strings attached. It’s just I filmed it with some of my favorite local naturopathic doctors and they give you the foundations of health that they do with all their patients that if you’re missing even one of these, you could be suffering needlessly. What’s crazy is that medical doctors will actually try to medicate these symptoms and the symptoms are like dehydration, for example, right? Just absolutely crazy that there's medications out there to treat symptoms that are completely resolved when we cover the foundations of true health. And that is what is offered in Freedoctorcourse.com. So go to Freedoctorcourse.com, put in your information and you’ll get 7 emails from me, one every day with a video from a naturopathic physician teaching you and other foundation of health, easy steps that you can take and such a great time of year to do it to solidify your new health resolutions. Right? We all want to feel better. No matter where you are on your health journey, you need these foundations of health. So there they are. Freedoctorcourse.com, go to that, check it out.
Lastly, I have a story, I’m going to keep it short because I want you to get to this great interview. I’m going to be interviewing the creators and the scientists around this thing. But I was going to wait until I did the interview which I’m going to be doing next week. But I can’t wait. I have to tell you about it. If you’ve been a long-time listener, you’ve heard me say I’m the world’s most open-minded skeptic, right? I think that's how we need to be. We’re discovering new things, right? We have to use our critical thinking, right? Not just blindly accept anything but at the same time, be open-minded enough to at least take in new information especially if that information is so new. I think there's little bells and whistles that go off in our mind. It’s like oh, that sounds so new, it’s probably not true or it sounds too good to be true. Well, sometimes in holistic medicine, there are things that really work and they do sound too good to be true. But then there's a lot of I don’t want to say snake oil but there's a lot of not-so-great stuff. So, how do we navigate that? Well, we got to really get in touch and listen to our heart, listen to our intuition, take in all the information, look at the science, look at the results, and then try it on for ourselves. As long as there’s no negative side effects, try it on for ourselves as long as we feel like it’s safe to do, and then see what kind of results we get. So, that's what I love. I love experimenting with new herbs and new supplements and new machines and new habits. Like, I’m going to skip breakfast or I’m going to skip dinner or see what happens in my body, or I’m going to drink even more water, or I’m going to try a new exercise. Just you’re always experimenting trying new things. Get new health habits and try them on.
So, I was introduced to this company and I’ve heard of structured water for a long time. I even have an interview on it which is amazing. I have this amazing interview. He’s a little hard to understand because I felt he had a very thick accent but if you strain really hard, you get some great information when you listen to him. He’s a Russian scientist who discovered with this group of scientists that discovered that structured water is what had the people in Chernobyl had them survive. So, there's a certain amount of people from Chernobyl who had radiation poisoning sent to this one particular hospital up in the mountains and he tells the story and they drink structured water. The other people were sent to other hospitals. Well, those people all suffered how we would predict with radiation poisoning. And yet, the ones that drink structured water did not, and they got better. They were like, woah, what’s going on? Like, this is the clear night and day difference.
They finally discovered that it was structured water that they were drinking, that it’s very specific places in the world where it comes up, it has to be under pressure, underground, and they’ve been trying to recreate it. If you’ve been into the health space, I’m sure you’ve heard of structured water before. Well, there's lots of machines, there's lots of expensive machines, there's all kinds of things out there that you get for structured water. I was introduced to this one company and, you know, I’m skeptical but I’m open-minded so I’m going to try it, so I tried it. And I really didn’t believe I was going to notice a difference. You simply use it in your glass of water. So, I fill up a big mason jar of 24 ounces, 30 ounces of water, and I use it. I swirl this thing in the water for a minute and then I drink it. I did not have a belief it would work because I was like, come on, really? I’m going to stir something in my water and it’s going to structure it. Well, sure enough. And you could stir water with a spoon or a knife or a chopstick. It’s not going to change the flavor of it. It’s not going to change how it feels in your mouth. Well, I used this device in the water for a minute and then I drank it. I was like, what just happened? Then of course I get another glass of water, pour it out of my filter to compare. Straight out of my filter I drank it, I’m like, okay, yeah, that's what water normally feels like in my mouth, normally tastes like. And then I drank the structured water again. I’m like, I cannot believe this! So, then I go grab my husband and our son, and I go okay, blind test. They don’t know which one is the structured water. I’m like, “Drink this, now drink this.” And they both were like, “What is this? This is amazing.” In one minute of using this device. And I’ve done this with every friend that’s come over. It’s been the funnest magic trick to do when friends come over, is the blind test. “Okay, drink this water, now drink this water, and tell me which one you like better.” The structured water tastes wetter. It feels different in the mouth. It tastes a bit sweeter and more natural just like more how water should be and it goes down your mouth like when you swallow it, it feels like everything is in alignment. And this has blown my mind.
So, I have a friend who also has the device and she says she’s loved it. So, I started sharing this with my friends and every single one of them has gone like, “I have to get this. This is crazy. This is so good.” Three days of using this, and this is the big thing for me because I don’t know if you know my stories, you might be a new listener. Listeners who have been listening for a while know that we’ve been through a hard time. Our family, we lost our daughter, and I’ve been doing a lot of healing work. What had been sort of in the background for me had just been like this low-grade sadness, just like really almost like a static noise sort of just always there, somewhere in my heart, just low in my heart, just always there, three days of drinking this water. One of my friends said, “How are you doing?” I did an internal check and I went, “It’s gone. It’s gone.” Wait, what? For the first time in two years, I was able to answer, “I’m actually doing really well, thanks for asking. Like I feel really good.” There was just this congruency in my body three days of drinking this water. I feel so good and my husband is like, refuses to drink any water other than using the structured water. You can use it in your cooking. It changes the flavor of your coffee, by the way. If you structure the water before you make coffee with it.
So, we’ve been doing it since right around Thanksgiving is when we got this device. I wanted to give it like a good enough trial before I introduce you guys to it because I like to experiment and see if something really resonates and really helps. Well, the studies around this structured water is that it reverses cellular age and people had their cellular age reversed up to 12 years younger in three months of drinking this water. I feel amazing. I know I’m doing a lot of health things, right? It’s hard because you’re doing so many different things, you don’t know which one is the one that's doing it. But I hadn’t really changed anything right around when I started using this device to structure my water. And I haven’t stopped using it. And I feel amazing. I’m a big water fanatic, I think we all should drink over 100 ounces of water a day that's purified water. But it makes me want to drink water more. It makes me enjoy drinking water. And there's a huge difference when I use it. Also, it affects well water too because I went to a friend’s house, we tested it on her well water and sure enough, I thought well water might already be just naturally structured coming from the ground. Sure enough, it changes well water as well. It feels wetter and it just goes down your throat easier and it changes the flavor of it like more enjoyable. Anyways, enough about that. Look forward to that interview. I’m going to be doing that interview next week. We’re going to get into the science of why. It also changes brain waves. It makes them healthier. They’ve been doing studies for about 12 years now on this particular device, but there's so much science around structured water. It’s really fascinating. So, check out this device that I love and of course, I asked them if they would give our listeners a discount. Learntruehealth.com/structuredwater. That's Learntruehealth.com/structuredwater. Use the coupon code LTH as in Learn True Health. Check it out for yourself. What I like about this is it’s actually way cheaper than all the machines out there probably because it’s manual and it’s not a machine that you're stirring your water with it. Check it out. So far, I really enjoyed communicating with this company and I’m really looking forward to having their scientist and their founders on the show and just digging into like why is it that the structured water, first of all, how is it that in one minute of stirring this device in your water is going to change it so much and how is it that it’s affecting people reversing their cellular age, affecting their brainwaves. How is it that it affected my emotional body, my energetic and emotional body, and that residual sadness that wasn’t going away went away. How is that?
So, very excited to bring you that information. Go to Learntruehealth.com/structuredwater. Use coupon code LTH, try it for yourself. It is the most affordable structured water device I have found which is great. Yeah, I want to know your feedback. Come to the Learn True Health Facebook group and let me know what you think about this device. Now, remember, testimonials, I want them. Please give them to me because episode 500 is coming up. Then, Freedoctorcourse.com, go get the foundations of health. I want you doing those things for your benefit and share it with your friends and family. Enjoy today’s interview. It’s a fantastic episode. I really, really loved it. It resonated with me and I hope it helps you as well. Have yourselves a fantastic rest of your day and enjoy today’s interview.
[00:16:17] Ashley James: Welcome to the Learn True Health podcast. I’m your host, Ashley James, this is episode 495.
I am so excited for today’s guest. We have on the show with us Dr. Dain Heer. Boy, this is going to be one of those episodes where you’re just going to sit back and you're going to feel like a transformed person by the end of it. I’m excited for 2023. The last few years, I just want to, I don’t know, I kind of want to put it in that little box in my mind like was that the dream like Dorothy waking up and being like, it was a dream but you were there and you were there. So, let’s just all wake up and 2023 will be like this beautiful technicolor life. Let’s take everything that we want to transform and work on that but in a really positive way see ourselves in the future having achieved those transformed goals. And we have with us an amazing expert to help us get there. Welcome to the show!
[00:17:20] Dr. Dain Heer: Ashley, thanks for having me.
[00:17:22] Ashley James: Absolutely. Now I’d love to hear just a little bit about what had you become the expert you are now. I know that sort of started out as a chiropractor which I absolutely love chiropractic care. But so many chiropractors I have interviewed have gone on to do so much more and it’s really cool that you can take that as a foundation and then go and do like emotional work and healing and energy work. There's so many modalities that can come about from that foundation.
[00:17:57] Dr. Dain Heer: Yeah, it’s wonderful. Chiropractic is sort of a gateway drug for possibilities. It’s like, “Hey, you want to learn chiropractic? Hey, how about some other stuff now?” For me, I was a chiropractor, I was living in Santa Barbara, starting my second practice 22 years ago. I felt like I didn’t even do chiropractic very well. I had studied so many different techniques, you know, emotional, untwisting the tension from the dura, I mean, and about 30 others. I was at a point in my life where I was done because I was going to every weekend workshop I could. I was reading every book I could on personal development, self-help, money, relationships, all the stuff. And what would happen for me is I’d go to a weekend workshop and I’d feel like I finally had the answers by the end of the workshop and I was finally going to be able to create the life I wanted and then by Wednesday of the following week, it would all go away and the universe would cave in on my head again. It was literally a Wednesday after one of these workshops 22 years ago where the universe caved in on my head when I thought I had finally found the answers I was looking for and I said, “I’m done. Universe, you have six months. Either my life changes or I’m out of here.” I literally set a date to end my life. I knew how I was going to do it. It wasn’t around anybody’s birthday. It wasn’t around a holiday. I didn’t want people to mourn for me. I just wanted to get out of my suffering. A week later, I came across an ad for something called Access Consciousness that I had never heard about before. It said Access, all of life comes to me with ease and joy and glory. I got furious, I threw the paper away. Because my life was pain and suffering and gory at the time. I happened to see this little add in the paper the following week and I learned along before if there’s something you hate or something you love, there's something in it for you. So, I called and I was thinking nothing was going to happen. Called and made an appointment and had this girl come to my office for a session. I went into this session angry, depressed, suicidal, looking forward to leaving the planet and I came out with a sense of gratitude for being alive that I will never forget.
In contrast, everything else that I had done up until that point, it didn’t go away. I got a tool to use each week because I started doing these sessions once a week and what would happen is, when the universe wanted to cave back in on my head, I would use the tool and it would expand back out and I would have that space again. Then, I would get the session and then my space would expand more. And I started walking around with something that very few people seemed to have or allowed themselves which was actually a sense of space no matter what happened. So, I could go through the trials and travails of life and observe it rather than be in the middle of it. That was 22 years ago. Few months after that session, I met the founder of Access, a man named Gary Douglas and he came for a chiropractic session in my office and we became fast friends and started creating this body of work that changes every day and grows every day based on how much more quickly can we help you create change. Because Access is about accessing, the knowing that each of us has within us. When you access that, you start to create the life of your dreams that you always knew was possible. There's stills ups and there's still downs but the downs are far less and the ups are far greater and that starts to become the new trajectory for your life.
[00:21:54] Ashley James: So, you want to unpack a bit about what this is? Is it energy work? Is it meditation? Is it talk therapy? What is it?
[00:22:03] Dr. Dain Heer: Yes. It is so many things. I mean, we have probably 8000 tools at this point that are different ways of handling things in the trenches of life. But its basis is that the only time we create a difficulty in our lives is when we function from less than the consciousness that we are. So, what it’s about is actually undoing the unconscious and anti-conscious points of view that we have which is all the places where we stick ourselves. When you do that, the being that you are actually is conscious.
In certain spiritual circles, they talk about having a higher self. Well, that never sat well with me because inherent in that point of view is you must be the lower self. What this is about is accessing your being, the part of you that actually knows. It’s like if you ever had a choice come up and you knew not to do it, and you did it anyway. And it turned out just as poorly as you know it would, well, that's an acknowledgement that we knew ahead of time, we can perceive these things. So, part of what Access does is there's a part of that’s verbal processing, there's a part of it that’s hands-on which is the session that I had which is this thing called The Bars, which is a light touch technique that’s done on the head and we’ve done scientifically valid studies and found that it decreases anxiety, stress, and depression at an average of 87% with one session. So, there are also body processes to change things in your body by getting your body more conscious. So, it’s got a lot of aspects to it. Describing Access is kind of like hey, describe the universe in three sentences. It’s like, it’s really big.
[00:24:08] Ashley James: This sounds a lot like neurolinguistic programming or timeline therapy. Or there's a lot of other modalities that I know of. Does it pull from other modalities or is it 100 percent its own unique thing?
[00:24:21] Dr. Dain Heer: Nope. It’s 100 percent its own unique thing.
[00:24:26] Ashley James: You mentioned the term “anti-conscious”. I understand consciousness, I understand the unconscious mind or the subconscious mind. But what is anti-consciousness?
[00:24:36] Dr. Dain Heer: Well, let’s actually unpack the unconscious or subconscious. Because what we call our subconscious mind can actually oftentimes be our consciousness in action. See, we have done ourselves a dynamic disservice by equating cognitive and conscious. They are not the same. Cognitive is mental. Conscious is your connection with everything and the awareness you would have as an infinite being. So, if we look from that perspective, I’ll give people a moment to digest that sentence. Kind of one big sentence there which is that we as beings are conscious. In other words, we have infinite knowing, we have infinite perceiving, we have infinite receiving and infinite being. Those are the four aspects of an infinite being, but those are also what we would have as the consciousness we are.
So, unconsciousness is actually where you allow yourself or enforce upon yourself to be unaware of something. Anti-consciousness is where you actively choose against the consciousness that you are. This is what I see with a lot of people is for example, in that case, of you know, everybody out there, think of one thing that you knew not to do and you did it anyway. Then think of how it turned out just as badly as you knew it would. Even though you went through the check box, you listed out your pros and cons, or it looks so good it must work out well. Well, that's a combination of unconsciousness and anti-consciousness. The unconsciousness is I’m going to make myself unaware of the future this will create because each of us has an awareness of future. The anti-consciousness is “Oh, I just got the awareness of the future and I’m going against it now.” That’s what gets created when you function from less than the consciousness of you which occurs in either of those forms.
[00:26:49] Ashley James: I feel like a lot of people might be questioning you on this awareness of the future, like, “I’m not psychic, I can’t predict what other people are going to say or do or how they're going to respond.” Then, how do we tap into our awareness of the future and check in with ourselves and make sure that we’re not actively choosing against the consciousness that we are?
[00:27:17] Dr. Dain Heer: Well, that definitely takes practice because look at it, we’ve all grown up being taught that there are right and wrong choices and the way to know how to choose what’s right is to write down if you're going to do anything, you write down the list of pros and cons, and if the pros outweigh the cons, then you do it. But I’ve seen a lot of people who got married to people who the pros appear to outweigh the cons who suffered dynamically for years. So, what else is there? Well, when you say a lot of people would say “I’m not psychic,” I know and yes, you are. I totally get it. I was functioning from the same place, so I totally understand. I totally understand if I say hey, you have this awareness of future. And people would resist it like I did. You know when I first heard that too, I was like, “You are full of crap!” So if you think I’m full of crap, I totally understand.
In fact, probably the most common thing I hear is “I thought you were full of crap when you said this but I found out you’re not.” I’m like, yup, I get it. I understand. It takes practice. But here’s the thing, is let’s take psychic out of the card reading, future predicting type of thing and let’s acknowledge that it’s awareness of the energetics that occur but also that will occur. So, you don’t necessarily know what somebody else is going to do or what they're going to choose. You could probably predict it with some reliable probability but that's not actually the point. The point is actually getting the sense of I choose this, what space or lack of space will it create for me? A great question to start practicing that is if I choose this, what will my life be like in five years? Not look like because you can’t see it. The future is wisps and whispers of energy. I made a concerted choice to even bring up this topic because I do realize how out there it can seem for some people. But unless we start to realize that we are aware of the energetics, the fundamental sort of sense of lightness or heaviness of what our choices create, we’re going to keep ourselves in the dark thinking that we have no clue what to choose. That's one of the biggest things sticking most people right now. I say right now, it’s probably been forever, is the idea that they don’t know what to choose because they don’t know what the outcome will be, so then they go to their minds to try to figure it out and they go through the checklist and then it still doesn’t work out well.
And yet, if you recognize that even while you're doing the checklist, even while you're exploring whatever the subject is, you will have a sense of whether it’s light or not. See, what’s true for you always makes you lighter. A lie for you will always make you heavier. The more you choose the things that are actually true for you, whether they are for anybody else or not, the lighter your life gets over time.
So, like if for example, well, right around 22 years ago now, I got engaged. Why did I get engaged? Because I had a desire to get married at the time? No, I didn’t but I knew that my girlfriend at the time desired it and in a sense required it because that was the next step we were supposed to take and she needed that for me to prove that I loved her. Because I’m a bit of a romantic, okay, I’m a total freaking romantic, don’t tell anybody, that's just between us, okay, even while I was planning this wonderful way of asking her to marry me, I felt like the walls were closing in. I knew not to do it. I did it anyway. Well, that was like opening Pandora’s box. There was so much heaviness associated with it. But I was going to be the right man who was doing the right thing.
So, my previous conclusion about what I needed to be for someone created the place where I couldn’t look at the effect or wouldn’t look at the effect that it would create even though energetically it was right in my face. We ended up breaking up about three months after because I could no longer go down that path because it just got heavier and heavier and heavier and heavier. The thing is, I knew before I chose it. Which is why I’m bringing this up to people and I also realized, you know, to a certain extent, people, if they're listening to a podcast or they’re usually thinking they're going to get some slightly different version of what they already know. And we’re greater than that. We actually have awarenesses. It’s easy to reject something because it doesn’t match what you thought it was but that's the recipe for keeping the same life that you’ve always had. This conversation is about let’s embrace that we might have more awareness than we think and let’s use it on our behalf. You don’t have to throw out anything. Anything that you’ve learned, anything that you know, because what’s true makes you lighter, a lie makes you heavier. If I say something and it makes you lighter, take it. If I say something and it makes you heavier, feel free to leave it. It’s your choice, it’s your life. But we are greater than we have ever acknowledged or given ourselves credit for. And us trying to pretend that we’re normal, trying to pretend we don’t have the level of awareness we have is killing is, literally.
[00:33:16] Ashley James: I’m going to play the devil’s advocate for just a moment because I think it will help us better understand. What if 20 years ago, those feelings that you had were not your tapping into understanding your future, but were coming from a place of your unconscious limiting decisions or negative emotions or negative beliefs about yourself like marriage is hard, I’m not loved, I’m going to screw this up, or I’m going to be trapped or whatever. People come up with these limiting decisions that they end up living by that they’ve created through their childhood.
[00:33:56] Dr. Dain Heer: Totally.
[00:33:58] Ashley James: And people will often live as if these unconscious negative beliefs are the truth, right?
[00:34:05] Dr. Dain Heer: Totally. That's what Access changes. That is exactly what Access changes. I’m really grateful you're bringing it up because this is a thing that so many people don’t realize that they're just living the negative beliefs that they grew up with and basically bought as theirs. That they just basically climbed into the box of somebody else’s limited reality and they're trying to decorate it better. So, it’s like absolutely, I’m 100 percent with you.
[00:34:40] Ashley James: Because when people, they're coming from a negative belief and then they try something, they go to do something but they're still believing they can’t or it’s going to screw up, I’m going to screw up, I’m not good enough, I’m not loved, whatever the thing is, and then when it does mess up, they're like, “See, I knew it. I knew I can’t do it,” and they're finding the evidence that they can’t do it. They’re finding they’re living through evidence and proving evidence that they can’t do it. People will live from their unconscious beliefs as if that's reality. Then, they’ll go on proving. So let’s say an unconscious belief is I’m not loved or if it’s like a marriage thing like they saw their parents struggle and divorce and maybe they've seen broken marriages, they grew up in a broken home, they believe that they can’t do it, I can’t do it. Whatever it is about relationships, they can’t do it, or I’m bad at relationships, no one loves me, whatever their belief is, it’s unconscious. They're not consciously aware of it, but what they're aware of is they’re constantly finding evidence to prove their belief system is true and they're negating, the unconscious mind is negating. Distorting, generalizing, negating the proof that they are loved or the proof that anything that goes against their belief system.
So, if they go and they go “Well, I couldn’t possibly do this marriage thing. I’m feeling trapped, I’m feeling like the walls are closing in,” and they call it off and they're like, “See, I knew I couldn’t do it.” But it wasn’t them predicting the future; it was them fulfilling their limiting beliefs or their negative beliefs that they’ve created, that they're living by, and then they're constantly finding evidence to support that their negative beliefs are reality when in fact they're not.
[00:36:40] Dr. Dain Heer: Like I was saying, those negative beliefs, those limiting beliefs are actually what Access changes. The thing about looking at the future is you're not predicting the future, you are having an awareness of what that choice will create. In other words, the energetics of what that choice will create. So, with this, for me, what I did was I started using these Access Consciousness tools because the thing is, when something is heavy, we know it. We just know it for whatever reason. And what Access gives you is a way of changing that. So, because what we tend to do is we tend to lump all kinds of things together. It’s like we’ve got the love we didn’t get from mom and the love we didn’t get from dad and like the insecurities you’ve grown up with and the future we’re looking at that we don’t know that we can do and we put it all together in one thing, it keeps us from getting clarity on what’s actually going on.
So, I totally agree with you about our past limiting points of view that we’ve adopted and most of those, we have adopted and bought from other people who had a similar point of view, so we don’t really even know what our point of view is most of the time unless you're willing to explore it. What happened for me was that’s exactly where I was functioning and it was so heavy, I went, “I need to do something.” So, I started asking some questions like what is true for me here that I haven’t acknowledged. What will my life be like in 5 years if I go through with this? What choices do I have available that I haven’t acknowledged? And what is it I’m trying to create here and for whom.
Then we also have another thing in Access which is a way of, well, basically changing anything you want to change. It’s called a clearing statement. It’s based on the idea that the “conscious“ part of us, I hate to put it in those terms because I would like all of us to be conscious. But if we were totally conscious, we wouldn’t create difficulties. But we have this way of changing your limiting points of view and also unlocking the fix points of view that keep you from getting in touch with what’s true for you. I don’t normally go into it on an interview like this because yeah, it’s a lot of weird words and I’ve got a 20-minute video explaining it online, so I usually just point people there so they can have access to it if they're interested. But for me, it’s something that I use every single day because let’s face it, stuff comes up in the world we live in, you know.
[00:39:32] Ashley James: Well, I definitely want the link to the 20-minute video and I’ll put it in the show notes of today’s podcast at Learntruehealth.com and any podcast directory wherever people are listening from, they can just look in the description and I’ll make sure that that link is there, so 20-minute video, I’ll make a little note of that. How can someone tell the difference between the unconscious sort of limiting points of view or the limiting decisions, negative beliefs that they’ve been living by or they created themselves or they adopted from their surroundings either from marketing, from their friend’s family. They’ve been living as though that's the truth and letting that sort of be their guide stone. How can they tell the difference between that which when they make decisions based on that guide stone, they’re coming from definitely a place of scarcity and fear and cutting themselves off, right? How can they tell the difference though between that and that connecting with the part of themselves, connecting with whatever you want to describe it, people would say god, universal energy, their higher self as you’ve said some people call it that, but connecting with that within you, your intuition that knows what’s going to create more space, lightness, a better future for yourself, how can you tell the difference between those two voices?
[00:40:57] Dr. Dain Heer: Once again, it takes some practice. The thing is, we live in a world where it’s like okay, give me the one answer that will solve my life and it doesn’t work that way. You’ve got to go on a journey where we’re willing to actually uncover and explore but the beginning of that is, ask this one simple question. What will my life be like in 5 years if I choose this and get a sense of whether it’s lighter or whether it’s heavier, whether you have a sense of more ability to breathe like more relaxation, more space, and/or if it seems contracted. Or of contraction of any form, and that's also different for all of us. But the thing is, it’s like when we’re choosing something that is what we’ve been conditioned to choose what other people require, it’s an energy we can learn to recognize. I mean, let’s face it, for most people, before this conversation, they didn’t really have it sort of pointed out in black and white. Like here’s one of the things that may be going on. So, it’s got to be a bit of an exploration of okay, and maybe one thing that would help is write down a couple of things that you’ve chosen in your life that just turned out way better than you could imagine. Get the moment where you chose that and get the sense of that. When I say the sense of that, it’s like hey, how was that? Like, what were you being in that moment? Be with that for a minute because that, for you, it’s unique to each of us, you know. There may be commonalities or similarities but it’s unique to each of us. But what were you being in that moment? Like, just get the sense of your space, your headspace, how your body felt. Be with that for a moment and then look at a couple of things that you’ve chosen that you knew you did it because you were supposed to. And look at the space you are choosing now or the lack of space.
A lot of times people will say “Yeah, I feel like I’m just all in my head” or “I feel like there's a band around my head when I think about that.” And yeah, it’s because we’re trying to use our computer to figure it out rather than letting our being access what it knows. We all have so many obligations and expectations from others that we’re spending our lives trying to fulfill, thinking that somehow, if I can just fulfill all of their expectations, then I’ll get the love that I want, that they won’t judge me anymore, that I’ll be a good person and not a bad person. All of these things are ways of opening the door to judging ourselves.
And in Access, we have a definition of consciousness which is where everything and everyone exists, and no one and nothing is judged. I guess a definition, a description, however you want to put it, and from that, you realize that if you’re judging you, you're not doing a kindness to you but that’s what we’ve grown up with in our entire world so it creates a place that when we go to choose something especially something we consider a large choice, we put our judgement system on overdrive most of the time, and you’ll notice if you look back at something that you choose that seemed to have space and relaxation to it that turned out wonderfully, usually it’s because it wasn’t a significant thing for you. So, when we have things we consider significant or big choices, we go the exact opposite of the way that will work. We go into more judgment, more trying to figure it out, more trying to understand it, rather than basically expanding out, getting some space for us as beings to approach the situation.
[00:45:13] Ashley James: I’m trying to relate to what you’re saying but I’ve done so much personal growth work in my life and like thinking about all these major issues, I’m going, well, what I do is I usually, whatever the outcome is, I always try to learn from it. So, whether I’m like, okay, well, it didn’t turn out the way I wanted, but look at all the things we learned and look at all this growth and like now I know more of how to navigate this and so we’re always asking ourselves what’s good about this. My husband and I are always kind of going through what’s good about this. But the one thing that when you said take one thing that turned out really well and what was the moment, it was when I decided to say yes to my husband to marry him. I totally get back in that space and get right in my body in that moment. There’s so much possibilities, infinite possibility. There’s maybe one percent fear like what is the future going to bring? I don’t know. But there was so much love, so much possibility like oh, this is beautiful. It’s a beautiful space. It’s expanding, it’s light, it’s energetic. It’s exciting, thrilling. And that's like we were just talking today because a friend from 10+ years ago, coworker I had many years ago reached out and he just this morning shared with me that he is struggling in his relationship and doesn’t know what to do. I look at my husband and I’m like, you know, him and I always think about and talk about the things that we don’t like, the things we want to improve, the things we’re kind of frustrated with in our life, the messes in our life. But I said, you know what, I’ve been taking for granted the things that are amazing because like our relationship is amazing. I feel like I have the most solid relationship in the world and so I take it for granted. There's people who really want this and I have it. I started to think about all the things that wow, I’ve taken for granted so many things that are really working in my life because I’ve always just been fixated on the few that are not working. And that you're right when you think about the things that are working and the choices you’ve made that make it work, it’s a totally different feeling in your body. It’s a different feeling in your body.
So, now it has shift. My choices and beliefs around the things that aren’t working so that I can have that on the same frequencies with the things that are working. Right?
[00:47:23] Dr. Dain Heer: Yeah, exactly that. I think that's the thing that like you said, one of the questions we have in Access, well, there's a few. One is what’s right about this, I’m not getting. Because also, it’s like every choice I make, my point of view is all is well that ends in more consciousness. Which is more awareness. Like you said, I made these choices, they didn’t work out well, but I look at everything I learned. And I have a similar point of view and also, it’s like how great would it be to be that space like when you said yes, to be that space with all of our choices. This is what I see people being able to step into, is they're no longer in conflict with themselves when they start to have a sense of who they actually are. And unfortunately, we live in a world where people think they are the image especially now, especially since the onslaught of social media, and I’m sure it was there before that in other ways, but people unfortunately are trying to uphold this image of who they are that’s primarily for other people. But they have to buy into it to a certain degree to try to see it as a reality and it’s really destructive because we’re far greater than that. And what would it be like if we could have a lot more space and a lot of our choices, number one, occur from that space that you're talking about when you said yes to your husband. But number two, also have the result. Because when you're doing it from that space and you choose, that's usually the result. It turns out awesome, it turns out greater than you can ever imagine. And you’re correct, we have to get in touch with how does this feel in my body, like how am I sensing this? Like, what is that?
And okay, so if you’ve had a time like that, then go there and then bring it here to the degree that you can to apply it to this situation and then see what you see that you didn’t see otherwise.
[00:49:31] Ashley James: So now that we’ve established that you can feel in your body, and some people are more aware, more kinesthetic, they're more in tune with their feeling, and some people, they're going to have to work on this, right. But when you maybe just sit quietly for a few minutes and be with yourself, be with your breath, and think about, for example, like reflect on how you felt and the space in you, inside you, when you're making choices that turn out really well, that you felt totally in alignment with, there's no conflict, there was just feeling of congruency in your body, and then versus the times when you felt a lot of conflict, your incongruency, and yet you did it anyway, sort of like, I don’t know, I’m walking out and it’s a sunny day and my intuition says bring the umbrella, and I’m like, I override that soft voice in my head that says “bring the umbrella”. And I’m like, I don’t need to bring the umbrella, it’s sunny outside, right? Or I’m about to go to the car and the voice will say to bring a pair of batteries. I’m like, “I don’t need batteries. This doesn’t make sense.” And then later on in the day, I needed the batteries or I needed the umbrella. I’m like, “Oh, I was supposed to listen to that voice.” I don’t know. Why do I override it?
But when you follow that voice versus when you don’t follow that voice or you make decisions when there is incongruency or like you said, almost like that feeling of less space closing in on you maybe, or darkness, or whatever it is, we start to establish that feeling. When we’ve established that feeling then, let’s say we have a choice we need to make, maybe start with some smaller ones about major life choices, like what to make for dinner, when we are sitting with ourselves and we’re feeling the incongruency, what’s an exercise we can do to find that authentic direction, the authentic voice inside us that’s like hey, this is the direction we’re meant to go and that this is authentically me?
[00:51:27] Dr. Dain Heer: Well, first is, you want to ask who does this belong to? When you're having that mental staccato, you know, the snare drum in your head or the out-of-tune band as your monkey mind goes into high rev, you want to ask who does this belong to. One of the things we’ve found in Access is that 98 percent of our thoughts, our feelings, our emotion, our stress, our anxiety, our depression, our suicidal thoughts, our anger and our fear, and our doubt, and all kinds of other things, are actually things we pick up from other people. And if we extend that a little bit further, what you realize is a lot of us for doing any sort of healing or personal development work, a lot of us have the awareness that I’m acting just like my mom, I’m being a slightly better version of my mom or my dad or both. And we realize that we seem to have the same limitations with money, we seem to have a similar thing in relationship.
So, we can ask. There's a tool. We even have a free app. It’s called Who Does This Belong To? So if you're in the middle of like you can ask it to any thought, feeling, and emotion, or any one of like the weird energies and when your mind starts going, if you go, who does this belong to? If it lightens up at all, it’s not yours. Just return to sender with consciousness attached. And one of the biggest things that we can do for ourselves is look back over our lives, and one of the questions I ask people is, what percentage of who, what, where, when, why and how you are, or that you think you are, did you buy from your mom and your dad before the age of two? People get up into the hundreds of thousands of percent and which is interesting because you would think there should only be able to be a hundred percent, I guess we just buy it over and over and over, it’s kind of like if you think about your family life and all the energies that were around, we were aware of all of those, but nobody ever pointed it out as us being aware of something. It was always like, “oh, when I’m around mom, I feel this way.” “When I’m around dad, I feel this way.” “When I’m around both of them, I feel this way.”
Well, those were all energetics. It’s kind of like we grew up swimming in carrot soup and if you swim in carrot soup for 15, 25, 35, 45, 55 years, somebody pulls you out, you look like a carrot, you smell like a carrot, you taste like a carrot, but you're still not a carrot. But we’ve been swimming in the carrot soup of all of these thoughts, feelings, and emotions and points of view thinking that they belong to us. This is a way of undoing that. It’s one of the things I use to heal myself of depression 22 years ago. Any time any of that would come up, I’d go, who does this belong to? And it would lighten up a little bit and I’d go, okay, not mine. I just tune my radio to that frequency. So, I’d be like, okay, return to sender with consciousness attached.
Well, you can do that also with things that you bought a long time ago. And let’s say you're having one of those moments where things are not light, you're trying to look at a situation and it’s not, just go, “Who does that belong to?” Whenever I bought this as mine when it wasn’t, POC and POD, which is the short form for the clearing statement which I mentioned earlier, just POC and POD all that. POC and POD. POC and POD. POC and POD. POC and POD. And return to sender. What happens is, probably about 85, maybe 90 percent of the time, you get some lightness, you get a little bit more space which allows you then to grab on to the thread of your reality so you can start to get to the lightness that you get to when you're functioning from what’s true for you.
[00:55:35] Ashley James: You brought up suicide and I think it’s really important to talk on this a little bit because it’s the second leading cause of death for ages 10 to 14 and 15 to 34. This is in the 2020 statistics. It’s a major issue that we’re seeing. Maybe social media is playing a role in increasing this, but you mentioned that if 98 percent of our thoughts and even like suicidal thoughts are not our own, they're coming from other influences, we need to sit down and sort of who’s me and who’s not me. Because so many children are being fed this negativity. Whatever they're being fed, it’s causing them to want to take their own lives. What can you say or what techniques do you teach or at least begin to unfold for us that can help people or we need to recognize that “wow, I’ve been thinking about some pretty dark things, I’ve been going to some dark places,” “wow this is not me, this is not who I am, this is coming from outside”?
[00:56:49] Dr. Dain Heer: Well, I’m glad you brought it up because it is such a big issue and becoming greater every day. If you look at the statistics after COVID, the world suicide rates rising like skyrocketing. So here’s the first thing we have to recognize about a lot of those that are getting to that place or think they might be. These tend to be the sensitive individuals in our world. It’s part of the reason I brought up who does this belong to out of the thousands of tools we have in Access and ways of changing things. Because somebody who’s sensitive, and here’s the other part I need to address also, is so often it’s the sensitive people of the world that are the ones that feel like it’s their responsibility to take the pain and suffering of the world on their shoulders because they perceive it so dynamically and more than people who don’t have that level of sensitivity.
So, a sensitive person, if we look at this idea, and a lot of people when I say 98 percent of your thoughts, feelings and emotions aren’t yours, people are like “yeah, you're crazy,” I’m like, “I know, I thought so too.” So I started using it on myself and I started finding it works with almost every single person that I do it with. We have over a million people that have gone through Access Consciousness classes at this point. And so many of them have gotten freedom from this. But if we can recognize that those people who get to that place are sensitive, what does that mean? Well, their awareness of well, everything around them, energetically, is off the charts.
So, for a “normal” person although I hate that word, for a normal person, their volume knob for picking up other people’s thoughts, feelings, and emotions and their depression and all of that, their volume knob might be at a 1. For some of these highly sensitive people, it’s up at 1000. So, what happens is, very few people recognize this. See, I see this sensitivity as a gift now because I’m one of those people. But also, it used to seem like a curse because I was always the one that was like, can’t you tell that these people are angry? And they're like, “What are you talking about?”
So, they’ve been so invalidated and there hasn’t been anybody to come along and say “You know what, you’re sensitive,” or ask them. Actually, I would never tell somebody anything about them. I always ask them a question. But if somebody would come along and acknowledge that they have this level of dynamic awareness and what are you aware of, and how much of this is your awareness, how much of this is something you're perceiving, and how much of it is something that’s actually being generated from within you. I will ask people who are going through this. And I can’t tell you the tens of thousands, perhaps hundreds of thousands of times where I’ve assisted people going through what seemed like depression or anxiety or suicidal thoughts or “I just want to die.” It’s always got a component of them having this level of awareness. One of the things I ask them is, what’s the difference between I’m sad and I’m perceiving sadness? Of course, perceiving it is “it’s there, I’m here”. I am sad is now “it’s here and I am in.” This is one of the crucial distinctions that we haven’t been taught to make that really, our entire perspective could change if we recognize that there's a level of sensitivity that a lot of people have and nobody has ever acknowledged them for it. They just want to take them and get rid of it and put the people on drugs, etc. And there are a number of people that I’ve worked with where they were experiencing something like suicidal thoughts, depression, whatever. They were convinced of the utter wrongness of them because that's the other thing that goes along with this. They’re very sensitive to that energy, that vibration of wrongness that people walk around with and they always want to try to take it away. They don’t want other people to feel wrong.
So, when I say, okay, are you having this or are you perceiving this? They go, “What?” I’m like, okay. I run through the thing with them about sadness. And they go, “Oh.” And I say, so, are you having this or are you perceiving this? They go, “Oh my gosh. I’m perceiving so much of it. It feels like me.” I’m like, “I know.”
Then our next step then is to create the distance between I guess I’ll call it distance, to create the awareness in their world of exactly like you said, what is theirs and what is not theirs. It’s why we develop this idea of if you ask who does this belong to for three days to every thought, every feeling, every emotion, every yuck, every stuck, every weird twisted energy, every mind going crazy, and if it lightens up at all, it’s not yours, return to sender with consciousness attached. At the end of three days, you walk around like you're in a walking-talking meditation. Literally, no thoughts in your head. Like I can walk through any city in the world and I’m glad I have this because I travel a lot facilitating classes and have no thoughts in my head. You know, it’s just in Rome, just enjoying Rome, there was none of the monkey mind because if you’ll do that for three days, you start to break the machine that makes you believe that everything you perceive and are aware of actually belongs to you.
[01:02:52] Ashley James: And is generated from you. Right? Like, oh, the sadness is me. That makes so much sense. So my background being in neurolinguistic programming and in Time Line Therapy and hypnosis, as you're talking, I’m reminded of Dr. Milton Erickson who he’s sort of the creator of the modern-day, very ultra light state of hypnotherapy where you would just be in conversation with him. And through a conversation, he could put you in a light state of trance and he can slow your heart rate down, slow your breathing down. He would watch your pulse. He was very talented at observation because he had polio twice. He had to learn how to walk three times in his life. He would sit there, as he was crippled and recovering, he watched his younger sibling learn to walk for his first time and he became hyper aware of certain things. Like he could look at you and could tell you what your pulse is because he could count the pulse on your ankle or your neck.
So we’d watch people and as he used hypnotic language patterns just in conversation, like you said, the “normal” people, would be talking to him not really feeling any kind of a different conversation. Okay, this guy talks a little slow. But within minutes, your heart rate would be lower and you would walk out of a session with him much more positive, focused on positive things. He had one man come to him who said “I have to stop drinking. I’m ruining my life.” And this is back in I think in the ‘70s. It was long time ago and he said to the guy, this is in Arizona or in New Mexico, somewhere in the desert, “I want you to go and look at a cactus and tell me how it can survive without drinking water.” He just gave him a thought. Just something to think about, something to look at, and years later, a woman came in and said, “I have to meet you.” And he’s like, “Okay, I have an appointment too but I guess I can meet you now.” She’s like, “No, no, no, I just have to meet the man who told my dad who was beating my mom and destroying our lives and a complete drunk, who couldn’t keep a job. He was told to go look at a cactus. He quit drinking, sobered up, moved us to California, got a job and became an amazing dad and husband. I just had to meet the guy that told my dad to stare at a cactus and his whole life changed.”
But it’s like a perfect example of this input coming Dr. Milton Erickson, right? It’s an input. It’s outside of us. It’s a conversation. It’s thoughts. But it’s not our own. It didn’t generate from us. And he’s inputting stuff and your critical faculty is allowing it and you’re allowing these thoughts in. Then, it makes positive changes. Well, the same can be for negative. Right? We’re allowing in hypnotic language patterns. Anytime you turn on the radio, watch the TV, listen to other people, go through a grocery store and over here, other people talking, these are all hypnotic suggestions you're allowing in. If you can’t tell the difference between the external world and your internal world. Then you perceive all that external stuff as you. And that would make anyone incredibly depressed and sick especially if they have more empathy, they're more empathetic, they're leaning, like you said, they're sensitive. You use the word “sensitive”, I use the word “empathetic.” But people who are more perceptive, those people are a sponge for everything around them and the if they don’t have the tools like you teach these tools, they’re thinking it’s all self-generated, it’s all them, and they cannot tell the difference. There’s no barrier, there's no boundary between who they are and the outside world. That would be horrible. You think about those who have autism, like over stimulus, it’s just agony inside them. There is no separation between this outside stimulus and the inside world, and it’s just like clattered. Just disruptive of the nervous system. But that's what we’re going through too, all of us. Because we’ve allowed the hypnotic language patterns of the world, the hypnosis of the world to enter us and confuse us and trick us into thinking that that is who we are.
So, excellent. Excellent idea to do. It’s kind of like needing to do the laundry in my bedroom. I don’t know if anyone is like me but there's a laundry pile here on the floor, there's a laundry pile on the bed, there's a laundry pile on the dresser. But it’s like you need to kind of go through the laundry and be like, oh right, there's all these piles of clothing I need to kind of like sort and figure out which is the dirty, which is the clean, which gets hung, which gets put in the drawers. We need to do that inside ourselves. We need to sort the laundry in our own heart, in our own mind, in our own thoughts. And go, is this me? Is this really me? Those beliefs you’ve been holding onto for so long might not be me.
[01:07:56] Dr. Dain Heer: In fact, most of them are not us, which is a little confrontational for some people to hear, but when you're functioning from something that’s not truly you, it’s always heavy. It doesn’t have a lightness, it doesn’t have any peace to it. And yet, we keep trying to take those things and find a way to rearrange them in our head or think if we just do something different or we’d be something different or we say something different and we think something different, then somehow it’s all going to become light rather than going through your house and going, “Holy crap, I have 2000 pieces of laundry and only six of them are mine.”
[01:08:36] Ashley James: Well, yeah, right, because I’m doing the family laundry. But this is like doing the world’s laundry. You're driving down the street listening to the radio and people are throwing their laundry at you.
[01:08:45] Dr. Dain Heer: Totally. How many times have we had that? As another acknowledgement of this, it’s like, how many times have you been having a great day, things are wonderful, you're happy, you're on cloud 9, man, you're driving to work and all of a sudden you get this ping or this something where you're like, “Oh my God, I’m afraid, or I’m angry,” or, “Oh, I don’t like my husband,” you know, where you probably don’t have that one because of your relationship which is awesome. Okay, but a lot of people do because they're primed for it. It makes sense to them that that could be something that they would feel and then what do they do? They go back and look over their day and look to the last day and look for the moment that justifies that emotion. But what if it’s just somebody driving by you having that very intensely and they're throwing their laundry on your car and in your car? And this occurs all the time and nobody is talking about it. Even when I say it to people, they're like, “Oh, that couldn’t be the case. Somebody would have told me by now.” I’m like, that's why I’m here. I’m telling you. And they’re like, “Oh, it couldn’t be the case. That's just too big. That's too much.” I’m like, “No, it’s actually what goes on.” And I am blessed to work with people and see this concept as it dawns in their world change the exact physical and mental and emotional thing that’s going on for them. But
[01:10:19] Ashley James: But there's also past unresolved events where we’re holding on to this gestalt of negative emotions from the past, negative emotions that we created, that we had a response to something. It could be anger or sadness. Then, we’re holding onto it and caring it with us. This was years ago, but I remember very distinctively we’re driving on St. Rose Parkway in Las Vegas with my husband. I say something and his response was not what I expected. It was like frustrated, angry, kind of combative. And I’m like, wow, what I said did not warrant that. I look at him and in an instant, I wanted to engage in a fight and defend myself. But instead, I paused and kind of took a breath, and this was years of personal growth work. I was like, oh, finally, I can put a pause in between and go, wait a second, interesting response, not what I expected. Where is this coming from? And he goes, oh, because he kind of started picking a fight with me. He thought I was going to engage in this fight and I just sort of backed off and went, “That’s not mine. I don’t own this.”
[01:11:29] Dr. Dain Heer: Cool.
[01:11:31] Ashley James: And it was silence for a few stop lights and then he said, “I was just talking to my ex-wife. Whatever you said, however you said it, whatever angle your face was, whatever it was, I was in a conversation with my ex-wife and I was fighting with her. You were not in this vehicle with me. It was my ex-wife.” And I’m like, wow! That's really amazing that sometimes we’re bringing our past and projecting it onto the current person or current experience, and it’s nothing to do with the now. How does that play into this role of who does this belong to? Because what if it belongs to us but it really doesn’t belong to this circumstance or the person we’re talking to?
[01:12:13] Dr. Dain Heer: Yeah. So a couple of things with that. I just want to acknowledge your response to that because let’s look at the other side. Had you chosen to resist and react, now we would have a fight on our hands that had nothing with either of you, which is where a lot of people are living and then it gets so twisted that it creates such separation. This is always when that occurs. If the fight or if the disagreement or the argument actually has a basis, then if we’re interested of course in becoming more aware, we can almost always get to what’s actually underneath it, if we’re willing to be vulnerable enough and go there. But if it doesn’t, it creates this weird twist that leaves a really bad taste in both people’s mouths and once again, nobody’s ever looked from this place of what if it’s not mine. So, to address your actual question, I just wanted to point this out because I know a lot of people have had arguments with people where they're like, what did I do wrong? What? And this actually explains it and this is why for me, having access to these tools is so valuable which is what is this, what do I do with it, like what is this really? And is it mine? Is it theirs? What do I do with it? Can I change it? And if so, how?
So, another thing that can be helpful in this regard is who am I being? Or, who is this person being? Where you're doing something and you know it doesn’t feel like you and that time you’ll know because we’ve learned, like he said, he was having an argument with his ex-wife, and that was probably something where he learned to be a particular thing for someone based on whatever was considered love in his family or hers, which isn’t necessarily love. But we will do the strangest things because we had people who said they loved us and yelled at us. People who said they loved us and judged us. People who said they loved us and abused us.
So, we’re like, “Oh, I love you, I’ll do the same thing because that's love obviously.” And so, we can ask, who am I being and how old am I being. Then, if it’s a who am I being, get the sense of like, wow, I sound just like my mother right now. Or, this is exactly the energy I saw my mom and dad have with each other. Okay, cool. Well, everything that is, POC and POD which is that clearing statement thing, which goes back to the point of wherever that was created and undoes the polarity of it, allows it to dissolve. So, that can be who am I being, how old am I being. We have so many instances, so many situations we have been involved in over the course of our lives. It doesn’t have to be a really big thing. But if you ask how old am I being, oftentimes you’ll get a sense of an age and then an energy of a situation which is like okay, and then you go, okay, so what happened? Oh, okay, two. What happened at two? Oh, my parents got divorced. Okay. So, what part of this are you playing right now? Is this truly you? Oftentimes that acknowledgment of “it’s not really me”, because the thing that we will fight the hardest for, the thing we will get most intensely defensive about and for, is the thing that we bought when we were younger that is not ours. And it’s very intense when we do that.
So, asking these questions can start to give us some awareness, adding this clearing statement to it and we now have awareness. The clearing statement allows us to undo everything we’ve aligned and agreed with, resisted and reacted to. Everything we’re avoiding and defending that holds it in place as though it’s ours when it wasn’t.
[01:16:33] Ashley James: When someone is in an intense emotion, I’m going to use myself as an example, because this is first thing that came to mind, but like, I’m homeschooling and I get super frustrated and I know these are not my emotions. I know they’re my mom. I act like my mom so much when I get in a state of frustration. But in the moment, it’s like, it lit up in my neurology. I’m feeling it in my heart. Like my heart is beating and I’m just feeling it through my body. And I want to get back to me. I want to stop being my mom and stop playing that role, I’m going to get back to me. But in the moment, it’s like I got my adrenals going. It’s kind of like asking her to slam on the breaks, right? So, what do you have as a technique for doing that state change, doing that shift? Like, you're shifting from the fifth gear to the first gear, right? And so, in the moment though, there's a little resistance like I don’t want to give this up. There's like this righteousness, right, in a not-so-great way. This is like getting a little pay-off, like a little payout from being this charged at people. But we know in the back of our mind, we’re now like, hey, you're acting like your mom now, this isn’t really healthy.
So, you have some awareness that you shouldn’t be doing this but at the same time, you're asking your neurology to like, okay, shift down to first gear. What do you have as a technique for helping us to get back into who we are, our authentic self, and separate from and kind of like send it with love back to sender, getting back to who we are and acting from those emotions, the intense emotions?
[01:18:21] Dr. Dain Heer: So, number one, we’ve got to have the willingness to not be right in that situation. We’ve got to go “okay, I realize I’m trying to be right here.” And then, do that thing of “Am I truly being me? If not, who am I being?” Two other things you can do. Number one, you go POC and POD everything I did to buy this as mine when I wasn’t. POC and POD everything I’ve created and uncreated as a result. And now return to sender and then POC and POD all that. POC stands for going back to the point of creation of the thoughts, feelings, emotions immediately preceding the decision or the point of destruction of the same, because we can create limitation in two ways. We can create a limitation, a fixed point of view, or we can destroy in that moment what’s true for us and take on something that's not, which is what this is.
The next thing you can do is use this tool. Everybody out there, you can take some upset that you still have in your world that’s been there maybe for the last few days or weeks, and just do this interesting point of view. I have this point of view. Which is Point of View, by the way. IPOV. Interesting point of view, I have this point of view. Usually, what will happen is it’ll shift a little bit and then again, you go, interesting point of view, I have this point of view. It’ll shift again. Interesting point of view, I have this point of view. Interesting point of view, I have this point of view. Interesting point of view, I have this point of view. Which is what you were doing when your husband was having an argument with his ex while you were there. It was like interesting point of view, it’s okay, no problem, no reaction, no resistance. What this does is it takes us out of our resistance and reaction that we think we are justified for going into when somebody pushes our buttons or brings up something that’s intense.
Another part of it, we can say interesting point of view, they have this point of view a few times, so that we’re more willing to be in allowance of their point of view. Then, the last one is, interesting point of view that I have this point of view, that they have this point of view. Usually, that creates space.
[01:21:01] Ashley James: Brilliant. Luckily, we transcribe all these episodes, so listeners, go to Learntruehealth.com. It takes us about two weeks or so after we release the episode to all the podcast directories, but you should be able to go back to Learntruehealth.com in a few weeks and we’ll have the transcript up. So, we can go through and read this and then, copy, paste, put it in your cellphone, put it in your notes and put it on sticky notes, put it around the house. And practice it. I just love this idea if we could just clear out the internal laundry. Like you said, you went around Rome just with no thoughts in your head and it’s not that you weren’t there. You were there but you weren’t carrying the world in your head. It was you were just enjoying yourself, you cleared out everyone else. Just you and your head. That's so nice. It’s so peaceful. What a vacation, right? Just you and your head. And how happy we would be removing 98 percent of the world’s depression, suicide, anger, addiction, all this stuff going on. The conflicts that are out there on purpose, right, because the media feeds off of your fear and creates conflict. Right? Instead of unity. And how much of that have we taken on? So just imagine a world where it’s only you and your head and your own feelings instead of taking on the world.
Beautiful. I love it. I know you have to go. Thank you so much for coming on today and sharing this wonderful information and all the links to everything that Dr. Heer has is going to be in the show notes of today’s podcast at Learntruehealth.com. I want to make sure that you come back because this whole time, I’ve been thinking, man, I’d love to do an episode with you around addiction and addiction brain and helping people who are at this stage in their addiction when they're ready to give it up, they want to, or they’re fighting it, and they still keep having those internal fights and they want those tools. I feel like it would be great to have you back on the show for those who are actively working on healing their addiction brain.
[01:23:08] Dr. Dain Heer: Cool. Thank you.
[01:23:10] Ashley James: It’d be great.
[01:23:10] Dr. Dain Heer: It would be my pleasure.
[01:23:11] Ashley James: Yeah, thank you so much. It’s been great and I can’t wait to talk to you again.
[01:23:15] Dr. Dain Heer: I look forward to it. Thanks, Ashley.
Ashley James: I hope you enjoyed today’s interview with Dr. Dain Heer. Wasn’t he amazing? I just love his work and I can’t wait to have him back on the show to dig deeper into this wonderful topic. Sounds like he’s got a lot of even more tools that he can share with us. I want to make sure that you remember. I want your testimonials, so please, give them to me if you have one. You can email me support@learntruehealth.com or come join the Facebook group at Learntruehealth.com/group to get into the Facebook group, and then just message me there or share it with the group there. Remember to go to Freedoctorcourse.com to get the foundations of health, all free. Then, check out the structured water device. Go to Learntruehealth.com/structuredwater. Use the coupon code LTH. Check it out. If you get one, I want to hear what you think, come into the Facebook group and let us know. I’d love to hear your journey with it and what kind of results you get with it. Awesome. Have yourself a fantastic rest of your day. Thank you so much for sharing this podcast with those you care about and helping to end people’s suffering because this suffering is needless and I want people to have that experience of true health inside them mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually. I want that for them. So let’s keep sharing this podcast and helping as many people as possible to learn true health.
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