The ONE Thing No One Talks About When Quitting Porn
Oct 19, 2023
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Discover the rarely discussed angle of quitting porn, focusing on attachment in relationships and the addictive nature of porn. Explore the challenges of letting go and how to reorient yourself towards healthier relationships.
Porn creates a pseudo attachment or relationship, making it difficult to quit.
To overcome porn addiction, focus on cultivating genuine relationships and finding support in men's groups.
Deep dives
The Pseudo Attachment Created by Pornography
One of the main reasons why porn can be so addictive and difficult to quit is because it creates a pseudo attachment or pseudo relationship. When individuals feel a lack of trust or stability in their primary relationships, they may seek to fill that void by creating pseudo attachments to objects, substances, or behaviors. Pornography provides a sense of connection, energy exchange, and emotional fulfillment that individuals may desire in their relationships but feel unable to obtain. This pseudo attachment can be reinforced by regular consumption of similar types of porn over an extended period of time. In order to overcome the addiction and let go of porn, it is important to recognize and understand this pseudo attachment and develop healthier, meaningful relationships with others.
Reorienting Behavior Patterns Towards Meaningful Relationships
Quitting porn is not just about detoxing from dopamine or replacing the habit with another habit; it also involves reorienting behavior patterns towards healthy, meaningful relationships. Instead of turning to porn as a means of coping with loneliness, boredom, anger, or anxiety, individuals should focus on cultivating and reinforcing genuine connections with trusted individuals in their lives. This can involve spending time with friends, family members, or participating in men's groups or communities where honest and transparent conversations can take place. Through reestablishing and reinforcing these relationships, individuals can gradually reduce their dependency on pornography and find it easier to let go.
Finding Accountability and Support
Building healthy attachments and relationships to replace the reliance on porn requires finding accountability and support. Joining men's groups or communities, such as the Man Talks Alliance, can provide a platform for connecting with like-minded individuals who are also on a journey to quit porn. These groups offer the opportunity for open and honest conversations, providing a space to share experiences, seek advice, and receive support. For those who may not have many men in their lives to turn to, joining a men's group can be a valuable source of connection, enabling the development of meaningful relationships and fostering the ability to let go of porn.
Title says it all, friends. I genuinely don’t see very many people talking about porn from this angle. Which is kind of surprising, but here we are. Listen in.
(00:00:00) - Intro and some of my own story around porn (00:03:49) - What nobody else seems to be talking about (00:07:57) - And THAT is why porn can be hard to let go of (00:10:32) - Reorienting yourself towards other relationships
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