#191 Why You Only Want Sex on Vacation. How to Get Desire Back at Home

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Summer is almost over, and I see a lot of my clients getting caught up in loops. You know that version of you that shows up on vacation. The one who laughs more easily, who says yes to sex, who feels lighter and more present in her body. Or maybe, like me, you have lived years experiencing a vacation from a bird’s-eye view, outside of your body, because of how burnt out you were.

That woman isn’t fake. That’s you.

But on vacation, you are not free to show up day to day either. Vacation sex is a lot like affair sex. All of the dopamine, none of the responsibility. If your relationship feels like a job and you only feel sparks or connection when you are away from your real life and responsibilities, this conversation is for you.

You might be wondering why you only feel desire on vacation, why you crave sex when you are stress-free, but shut down as soon as you are home. Desire is not gone. It is buried under responsibility, gender roles, patriarchy, and nervous system overload. Vacation sex is not proof that your relationship is fine. It is proof that your desire remains.

We are looking at the patterns that keep you blaming hormones or libido when what is really happening is your body protecting you. We are talking about bread crumbing, over-functioning, and super traits like empathy and achievement that erode intimacy without you even realizing it.

Your erotic power and your desire do not need an escape. They need a new map. This is the first step on the pleasure path and the reason therapy, communication tips, or sex hacks have not worked. Once you can name the invisible dynamics at play, the path back to erotic aliveness and pleasure-centered relationships becomes clear.

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Take the Pleasure Path Assessment HERE to uncover your shutdown style, the super traits blocking your intimacy, and your next steps for reconnecting with your body and desire.

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