Marriage Therapy Radio Ep 312 How Your Marriage Ends with Matt Fray
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Mar 19, 2024 Author Matt Fray shares insights on marriage from his own divorce experience. Topics include empathy, communication styles, gender dynamics, trust, validation, and personal growth in relationships.
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Divorce Sparked A Career In Relationship Work
- Matt Fray began writing after his wife left on April 1, 2013, which drove him to examine his failures in marriage.
- His blog and coaching grew from trying to protect himself and his son from future divorce and from hearing the same stories from many people.
Two Core Failures Erode Relationships
- Fray reduces problematic relationship behavior to two umbrellas: validation and mindful consideration.
- He argues most trust erosion comes from failing at these simple, repeated micro-interactions.
Validate Quickly, Repair Without Defensiveness
- When a partner says they were hurt, validate first by acknowledging their experience rather than debating facts or feelings.
- Accept feedback with gratitude and repair instead of becoming defensive or insisting you meant no harm.