Are You Speaking to Their Greatness or Their Deficiencies?

This conversation challenged me in the best way—and I think it will challenge you too. I sat down with relationship coaches Jocelyn and Aaron Freeman, and we didn’t hold back. We got into the real, unfiltered truth about what makes a relationship thrive and what quietly breaks it down over time. And I’ll be honest—I learned a lot about myself in this one.

We talked about why most couples argue the same way every time, how we start talking to our partner's flaws instead of their potential, and how easy it is to stop being curious about the person we love the most. That hit me hard. Because curiosity? It’s not just a phase when you're dating—it’s a choice. When you stay curious, people become more interesting. And when you stop being interested, they stop showing you who they really are.

One of the most important takeaways: the “5 Rs” the Freemans teach—Reflect, Responsibility, Reconnect, Remind, Reconcile. It’s a practical framework that helps couples come back from conflict stronger. But what stood out even more was this mindset they kept coming back to: we’re on the same team. That phrase alone has the power to stop an argument in its tracks and realign a relationship that feels like it’s drifting apart.

This episode is packed with real tools, honest moments, and a whole lot of heart. If you’re in a relationship—new or decades deep—there’s something here for you. You’re either training your partner that this is a safe space to share… or you’re teaching them to keep it all inside. That’s the choice. And I want you to choose connection.

Key Takeaways:

The most damaging part of conflict isn't the argument—it's the lack of repair after.
Learn the 5 Rs to recover and reconnect after a disagreement.
“Speaking to your partner’s greatness” builds them up and strengthens your bond.
Curiosity is the secret to keeping relationships alive and engaging.
One person can spark change, but both have to sustain it.
You don’t have to end the relationship to end the version of it that isn’t working.

Let this episode be the spark. Listen with your partner. Talk about it. And remember—you’re on the same team.

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Call It ‘A Midlife Awakening’