Re-Run - How to Set Boundaries with Your Family with Allison Ly, LCSW

Sep 26, 2024

Allison Ly, a licensed clinical social worker specializing in boundary-setting, shares her insights on the ongoing process of establishing personal boundaries. She discusses how boundaries protect our emotions, time, and energy, especially for first and second-generation adults in immigrant families. The conversation touches on the importance of grief, self-reflection, and self-care in maintaining these boundaries. With practical strategies and personal anecdotes, Allison encourages listeners to prioritize their needs for healthier relationships and personal well-being.

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Episode notes

Intro

00:00 • 2min

Navigating Boundaries in Work and Family

02:11 • 18min

Understanding Grief and Addiction

20:09 • 4min

Navigating Personal Readiness for Healing

24:20 • 6min

The Importance of Sustainable Self-Care Practices

30:23 • 2min

Investing in Boundaries for Healthier Relationships

32:45 • 2min

Navigating Boundaries in Relationships

34:43 • 8min

In this episode, Helen Garcia interviews Alison Ly, LCSW, about the importance of setting boundaries. They discuss what boundaries are and how they can protect and preserve various aspects of our lives. Alison shares her personal struggles with boundaries and emphasizes that setting boundaries is an ongoing process.

Follow Allison Ly, LCSW-

Coaching Website: ⁠https://www.heyallisonly.com⁠
Therapy Practice: ⁠https://www.allisonlytherapy.com⁠
Instagram: @heyallisonly

Takeaways

Boundaries are anything that we feel can protect and preserve us, such as emotions, time, energy, and finances.
Setting boundaries is an ongoing process and new situations may require adjustments.
Boundaries can be set with others or internally, and it's important to prioritize self-care and personal needs.
Zooming out, prioritizing, and filtering priorities can help maintain focus and balance in work and personal life.
Reflective questions can help identify the root causes of boundary struggles, and it's important to address and process dark thoughts and emotions. Grief can have a significant impact on relationships, causing individuals to blame themselves and overcompensate to prove their worth.
Healing from childhood patterns is essential for improving relationships and living a fulfilling life.
Recognizing signs of readiness for healing, such as a desire for positive relationships and a willingness to change, is crucial.
Creating boundaries and making space for personal needs is essential for self-care and sustaining healthy relationships.
Indirect boundaries can be effective in certain situations, allowing individuals to prioritize their needs without explicitly stating them.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Background
01:02 Understanding Boundaries
05:29 Boundaries in the Context of Work
07:12 Setting Boundaries as a Parent
09:15 Zooming Out and Prioritizing
11:48 Identifying Signs of Boundary Crossings
13:05 Planning and Goal Setting
14:20 Filtering Priorities
19:46 Reflective Questions for Boundary Keeping
21:52 Dealing with Dark Thoughts and Emotions
22:10 The Impact of Grief on Relationships
23:47 Longing and Grief
24:27 Healing from Childhood Patterns
25:42 Signs of Readiness for Healing
27:10 The Challenge of Changing Others
28:19 Making Space for Personal Needs
29:12 The Journey of Self-Reflection
30:01 Saying No and Creating Boundaries
31:29 Understanding Personal Needs
32:15 The Importance of Self-Care
34:43 The Course on Setting Boundaries
36:36 Reframing Guilt and Self-Hatred
37:21 Having Boundary Conversations
39:16 Indirect Boundaries and Communication
42:11 Reflecting on Personal Boundaries