CoRecursive: Coding Stories Story: The Bug He Couldn't Name - A 15-Year Fight Inside One Developer's Mind
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Dec 2, 2025 Burke Holland, a passionate software developer and advocate at Microsoft, shares his deeply personal journey through anxiety and OCD that began with a life-altering college experience. He reveals the challenges of identifying his mental struggles and how they impacted his education, career, and family life. After years of searching for answers, Burke found stability through self-assessment, appropriate therapy, and medication. His story highlights resilience, the importance of naming one's issues, and how overcoming personal battles can lead to newfound empathy and purpose.
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The Night That Changed Everything
- Burke describes a college acid trip that spiraled into panic and a hospital ER visit.
- That night marked the start of years of sleep fear and worsening mental health.
Rumination Turns Fear Into Reality
- Fear of not sleeping became a self-perpetuating obsession that dominated his life.
- Rumination turned hypothetical scenarios into convincing realities he could not escape.
A Computer Bought In Barracks Sparked A Career
- Burke bought his first PC in the Coast Guard and obsessively explored Windows 98 UI themes.
- That fascination launched his interest in user interfaces and computing as a career path.
