Imagine facing a problem you can't name, something that feels bigger than any bug you've ever had to fix. How do you debug your own mind when you don't even know what's wrong?

Burke Holland's story starts with a college party and a bad trip that leaves a deeper mark than he expects. Sleep gets harder. Fear creeps in. His life starts shrinking. School falls apart, friends drift away, and he ends up back at home trying to understand what's happening to him.

He looks for structure in the Coast Guard. Later he discovers computers and realizes he might have found the thing he's meant to do. But the shadow that followed him out of that party doesn't care about career paths. It shows up during college, during work, during marriage, during parenthood. Sometimes it's quiet, sometimes it knocks him completely flat.

This is the story of a developer who looks effortless on stage but spent years fighting something no one else could see, and what changed once he finally understood what he was up against.

What do you do when the hardest problem in your life isn't in your code, but in yourself?

The anxiety and phobia workbook

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