The Life Stylist
The Mysticism of Motherhood & Raising Children for a New Earth w/ Kimberly Van Der Beek #485
Episode guests
Podcast summary created with Snipd AI
Quick takeaways
- Building trust and open communication with children is crucial in parenting, fostering a strong bond and creating a safe space for expression.
- Supporting and encouraging children's interests and passions without imposing them allows for genuine enthusiasm and curiosity.
- Teaching children how to express and regulate emotions helps develop emotional intelligence and constructive emotional handling.
- The transition from an urban to a rural setting brings opportunities for exploration and play, while nurturing the unique possibilities of the rural lifestyle.
- Establishing routines and individual responsibilities within the family promotes organization, accountability, and teamwork.
Deep dives
Parenting Insights: Fostering Trust and Open Communication
One key aspect of parenting is building trust and open communication with your children. By having truthful discussions and deep listening, parents can create a safe space for their children to express their thoughts and emotions. This allows for a deeper understanding and connection between parent and child. The parent's role is to provide the container and parameters, while also being a compassionate listener. Honesty and transparency in conversations, tailored to the child's age and capacity, can foster a strong bond and a sense of trust.
Nurturing Personal Passions and Interests
Parents have the opportunity to support and encourage their children's interests and passions. While parents can expose their children to different activities and experiences, the child ultimately finds their own unique passions. Parents can provide the space for exploration and discovery, allowing children to choose what genuinely interests them. It's important not to force a passion onto a child, as genuine enthusiasm and curiosity are more likely to be developed when the child has autonomy in pursuing their interests.
Emotional Expression and Regulation
Teaching children how to express and regulate their emotions in a healthy way is crucial for their overall well-being. Parents can model emotional intelligence by acknowledging and validating their own emotions and providing a safe space for their children to do the same. Encouraging open conversations about emotions and actively listening to their children's feelings helps children develop emotional awareness and learn how to handle their emotions in a constructive manner.
Transitioning to a Rural Lifestyle
Moving from a more urban environment to a rural setting can be a significant transition for children. The adjustment may involve adapting to a different lifestyle, including changes in activities, community, and surroundings. However, the presence of siblings and the natural surroundings of the ranch can provide ample opportunities for exploration, play, and connection. It's essential to strike a balance between embracing the new environment and acknowledging any longing for familiar experiences, while consistently nurturing the unique possibilities that the rural lifestyle offers.
Family routines and responsibilities
The speaker highlights the importance of establishing routines and individual responsibilities within the family. This allows for better organization and productivity, and teaches children about accountability and teamwork.
The healing power of silver
The podcast episode discusses how silver can protect one's health. The speaker mentions Silver Biotics, a brand that offers products incorporating silver saw technology, which has been used for centuries for its healing properties. These products have been shown to inhibit the growth of microbes, fungus, and mold without harming beneficial gut bacteria.
Conflict resolution and communication
The speaker shares their approach to handling conflicts between their children. They encourage open communication, allowing the children to talk to each other about their issues first before involving the parent. They also emphasize the importance of creating space and time away for children to calm down and resolve conflicts on their own. The speaker acknowledges that their children have learned important conflict resolution skills through these experiences.
Importance of curiosity and respect in parenting
The speaker discusses the significance of curiosity and respect in parenting. They describe how talking to their children in a respectful and adult manner, instead of using baby talk, has resulted in children who are more mature and well-adjusted. They also express their curiosity about their children's experiences and thoughts, believing that treating children as individuals with their own unique perspective fosters better communication and understanding.
The Importance of Modeling for Children
Modeling behavior and values for children is more impactful than what is said or done. The speaker highlights the significance of setting the right examples, referencing how their partner created a loving and secure environment for their children by consistently prioritizing their needs and not getting distracted by external factors.
The Experience of Home Birth with Children Present
The speaker shares their experience of having home births with their children present in the room. They emphasize the importance of preparing the children for the birth process, explaining what might happen and normalizing the experience. By involving the children, it created a deeper understanding and connection among siblings and changed the dynamics of their relationships. The speaker acknowledges that each birth is unique and can be challenging, but the support and presence of their children added a sacred and tender element to the experience.
Welcome to another illuminating and heart-warming episode of The Life Stylist Podcast. Today, we embark on a profound exploration of motherhood and the art of raising children for a New Earth with the incredible Kimberly Van Der Beek.
Kimberly Van Der Beek was strategic advisor to a philanthropic billionaire, a producer, and activist before marrying James Van Der Beek, having six children, and moving their family to a 36-acre ranch outside Austin, TX. She is now co-host of the highly regarded podcast, Bathroom Chronicles, with co-host Peggy Romerto and founder of an intergenerational clean beauty startup.
Pregnancy became a catalyst for Kimberly's intuitive awakening, opening up a world of wisdom and growth. Throughout this conversation, we dive deep into the intricacies of parenting and cultivating profound connections with our children.
Kimberly imparts invaluable tips on having truthful discussions with deep listening, preparing kids for the real world without overwhelming them, and fostering trust and honesty within the parent-child relationship. We explore co-regulation and self-regulation techniques, learn how to empower kids to be critical thinkers, and navigate the challenges of raising siblings.
Kimberly gives insights into how she and her husband view discipline, and explains the studies and science supporting her favorite alternative education models that allow children to develop the most important life skills.
Finally, we uncover the wisdom and magic of motherhood as we journey through Kimberly Van Der Beek's captivating personal stories; from family road trips to navigating grief to bedtime songs her husband sings to their kids. Brace yourself for heartwarming accounts of home births and the transformative moments when her other children joined in. Stay tuned, my friends, as we embark on this soul-stirring voyage into the mysticism of motherhood.
DISCLAIMER: This podcast is presented for educational and exploratory purposes only. Published content is not intended to be used for diagnosing or treating any illness. Those responsible for this show disclaim responsibility for any possible adverse effects from the use of information presented by Luke or his guests. Please consult with your healthcare provider before using any products referenced. This podcast may contain paid endorsements for products or services.
00:07:00 — Kimberley's Childhood, Early Influences & Pregnancy Revelations
• A synopsis of Kimberley’s childhood growing up in Washington
• People who shaped and influenced her in middle school and high school
• Situations that taught her valuable lessons (like initially being rejected from college)
• How she viewed motherhood in her younger years
• Her introduction into the entertainment industry
• Watch: “I Call It Love” by Lionel Richie
• Watch: Alter Eco
• How pregnancy was the start of her intuitive journey
• What her different birth journeys taught and gave her
• Who teaches who in the parent-child relationship
00:25:17 — Nurturing Trust, Communication & Empowerment in Parent-Child Relationships
• How to have truthful discussions, through deep listening, with your children
• Preparing your child for the real world without terrifying them
• Creating trust and honesty within your relationship to your children
• How to build trust so that your child is comfortable telling you everything
• How to help your children become self reliant and to be critical thinkers
• Co-regulating with your kids and self-regulation tips
• Recognizing triggers
• Podcast: Bathroom Chronicles Podcast
00:47:04 — Parental Modeling: How to Navigate Challenges, Emotions & Change
• Why screwing up is an opportunity
• Teaching kids how to express their emotions in a healthy way
• How much influence do you have over a kid's interests and passions?
• Handling moving with kids from one city to another
• Our experiences living in a rural area and how their kids have adjusted
• How to handle conflict between siblings
• Why “baby talk” is actually rooted in science
• The impact of eye contact
01:13:26 — Conscious Parenting: Discipline, Alternative Education & Spirituality
• Kimberly’s philosophy on discipline
• Different parenting styles between herself and her husband
• How much influence your kids' astrological signs have
• Why Kimberly loves the Finnish education system
• What’s wrong with the general preschool system
• Benefits and logistics of homeschooling and alternative education
• What does the world need in terms of the number of kids we're bringing in?
• How her kids are part of her spiritual life
01:48:09 — Embracing Family Adventures, Grief & Emotional Resilience
• Stories from family road trips
• Navigating grief with late pregnancy miscarriages
• What we’ve learned from observing James as a father
• Her home birth experiences
• What has happened when she invited her other kids in
• Navigating survival mode with compassion and forgiveness
• Learning how to hold space for emotions in the body
More about this episode.
Watch on YouTube.
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Resources:
• Instagram: @vanderkimberley
• Podcast: Bathroom Chronicles Podcast
• Are you ready to block harmful blue light, and look great at the same time? Check out Gilded By Luke Storey. Where fashion meets function: gildedbylukestorey.com
• Join me on Telegram for the uncensored content big tech won’t allow me to post. It’s free speech and free content: www.lukestorey.com/telegram
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The Life Stylist is produced by Crate Media.
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