Tara Mohr, an expert on self-censorship and empowerment, dives deep into the struggles many women face with their inner critic. She shares insights on how societal pressures distort self-perception and hinder aspirations. The discussion highlights the importance of confronting fears, nurturing one’s inner mentor, and fostering unity among women instead of rivalry. Tara emphasizes the need for mindfulness and authenticity in reclaiming one’s voice, along with advocating for supportive environments that encourage women to shine and take up space.
The inner critic significantly hinders women's ability to express themselves and pursue goals, often speaking up when they step outside their comfort zones.
Using the concept of the inner mentor, women can connect with their authentic selves and navigate challenges by aligning choices with their true values.
Rivalry among women in professional settings reflects societal conditioning, and addressing it can foster supportive collaborations and personal growth.
Deep dives
Navigating the Early Stages of Parenting
The challenges of parenting, particularly in the first year, are highlighted as a time filled with steep learning curves and societal pressures. Parents often experience anxiety regarding their choices on major issues, such as breastfeeding versus formula feeding, reflecting a painful dilemma for many families. This dynamic is exacerbated by cultural expectations, which can lead mothers to feel judged regardless of their decisions. Emphasizing a broader perspective, it's important to recognize that parenting is a universal experience that varies widely across different contexts and cultures.
The Inner Critic and Its Impact on Women
The inner critic is a significant barrier for women attempting to express themselves and pursue their goals. It frequently arises when stepping outside of comfort zones, feeding insecurities about visibility, power, and success, which are often deemed unsafe in a patriarchal context. Despite varying backgrounds and support systems, many women experience a similar voice of self-doubt that overshadows their capabilities. Understanding this inner critic involves recognizing its cultural roots and redefining the relationship women have with fear and self-judgment.
Unlocking the Power of the Inner Mentor
The concept of the inner mentor serves as a potent tool for women to access their authentic selves and the wisdom that resides within. This guided visualization helps individuals connect with a version of themselves that embodies calmness and clarity, empowering them to navigate challenges and decisions with renewed perspective. By consulting this inner guide, women can explore their values and make choices that reflect their true desires rather than societal expectations. Emphasizing that this inner wisdom is often overshadowed by self-doubt, the inner mentor can help release the constraints imposed by external judgments.
Addressing Female Rivalry and Support
The prevalence of rivalry among women, particularly in professional settings, is a complex issue rooted in societal conditioning and cultural narratives that dictate acceptable expressions of ambition. Envy can manifest as a barrier to celebrating each other's achievements, reflecting deeper internalized messages about self-worth and value. Recognizing that personal discomfort often translates to a reluctance to support others, women are encouraged to use envy as a mirror for their desires and aspirations. Cultivating supportive relationships and confronting the dynamics of competition can lead to more meaningful collaborations in a world often marked by undermining behaviors.
Reimagining Women's Roles in Professional Spaces
The relationship between women and workplace dynamics has shifted, leading to a need for redefined expectations and boundaries within professional contexts. As women navigate the complexities of maintaining emotional safety versus task-oriented productivity, the balance becomes increasingly delicate. Many women find themselves opting out of traditional roles due to the stress associated with conforming to cultural norms that demand constant emotional labor. The challenge lies in integrating care and productivity while resisting the impulse to undermine each other in a landscape that does not always support collective female empowerment.
Tara Mohr is a coach, educator and the author of Playing Big: Practical Wisdom for Women Who Want to Speak Up, Create, and Lead, which is celebrating its 10th birthday this fall. I first met Tara a decade ago and was so taken with her and her insights that we did four stories together—stories that were deeply resonant with women everywhere. These stories were about understanding—and releasing—your inner critic, locating your inner mentor, examining the ways in which you keep yourself in the shadows and why, and the most potent one of them all: why women are so quick to criticize other women. We cover this same ground 10 years on—and it’s just as powerful as it was then. I loved reconnecting with Tara and can’t wait to do more with her over the coming decades, specifically revisioning what it might look like if more women led—but not in a model defined by men, in a way that might be uniquely their own. Okay, let’s get to our conversation.
