This podcast explores the psychology behind oversharing, including the difference between trauma dumping and authenticity, the use of oversharing to soothe social anxiety or fast-track relationships, and the emotional aftermath and vulnerability hangover. The episode also includes 5 tips to stop oversharing.
Chronic oversharing can happen due to various factors, including the need for emotional regulation and externalizing problems, anxiety and neurodivergence (such as social anxiety and ADHD), and the desire for fast and intense connections.
It is important to distinguish between oversharing and authenticity, as oversharing can sometimes cross boundaries and make others uncomfortable. Striking a balance between vulnerability and oversharing is key to maintaining healthy relationships.
Deep dives
Reasons for Chronic Oversharing
Chronic oversharing can happen due to various factors. One reason is the need to externalize problems or for emotional regulation, where individuals feel the urge to verbally express their thoughts and feelings to manage discomfort. Anxiety and neurodivergence, such as social anxiety and ADHD, can also contribute to oversharing, as impulsive and anxious behaviors can lead to lowered impulse control. Additionally, some individuals may have an intensity addiction, desiring fast and intense connections that oversharing can facilitate. Lastly, although not applicable to all cases, seeking attention and sympathy can be another reason for chronic oversharing.
Understanding Oversharing and Authenticity
Oversharing is the tendency to disclose an excessive amount of personal information to the wrong person or at the wrong time. While oversharing can result from social anxiety, neurodivergence, or seeking attention, it is important to distinguish between oversharing and authenticity. Authenticity involves being open and honest about one's feelings and experiences, allowing for genuine connection. However, oversharing can sometimes cross boundaries and make others uncomfortable. Striking a balance between vulnerability and oversharing is key to maintaining healthy relationships.
Psychological Underpinnings and Impacts of Oversharing
Oversharing can stem from various psychological factors. It may serve as a coping mechanism for emotional regulation or an attempt to build connections through intensified intimacy. However, chronic oversharing can lead to regret, embarrassment, and a vulnerability hangover. It is important to recognize the effects of oversharing on oneself and others, such as potential privacy breaches, emotional exhaustion, and strained relationships. Developing self-awareness and employing strategies to regulate oversharing can help mitigate its negative impacts.
Strategies for Managing Chronic Oversharing
To manage chronic oversharing, it is suggested to pause and redirect oneself when the urge to overshare arises. Taking a step back, asking questions, and actively listening to others can shift the focus away from oversharing. Additionally, identifying triggers for oversharing, such as social anxiety or discomfort, can help preemptively redirect the conversation. Alternatives like journaling or talking to a trusted friend before social situations can provide healthy outlets. It is also essential to establish appropriate boundaries and context for sharing personal information, ensuring that it aligns with the comfort levels of oneself and others.
We all know the feeling of oversharing at a party or work function and feeling the sting of embarrassment and shame the next day. So why do we feel the need to overshare with others, even though it has emotional and mental consequences? In this episode we explore the psychology of oversharing, from the difference between trauma dumping and authenticity, why oversharing soothes our social anxiety or can be used subconsciously to fast-track a relationship. We also discuss the links to ADHD and the emotional aftermath, particularly the experience of a 'vulnerability hangover', as well as my 5 key tips to stop oversharing. Listen now.