The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma} REPLAY: When Connection isn't Safe- Oppositional Series Part 3
Dec 30, 2025
Explore the complex relationship between trauma and connection in children. Discover how early experiences can make connection feel dangerous. Learn effective strategies for caregivers to maintain emotional regulation and persist in offering connection despite rejection. Understand the significance of neuroception in recognizing safety cues. Embrace the grief that comes with unreciprocated efforts and the importance of seeking support from other relationships to bolster resilience. Gain insights into titrating connection to foster a sense of safety.
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Connection Can Be Experienced As Danger
- Connection and protection can become neurologically entangled when early caregiving links connection to danger or pain.
- This means connection may not soothe but instead trigger protection responses in some children.
Connection Lowers The Stress Burden
- Connection reduces internal resources needed to handle stress because it supports regulation.
- Babies learn soothing through repeated serve-and-return, building expectation that distress ends.
Regulate Yourself First
- Stay regulated and in connection mode as the grownup even when your child is in protection mode.
- Recognize and name your own feelings of protest, anger, grief, and loss when connection is rejected.