A mother seeks advice on supporting her highly gifted daughter who struggles with impatience and perfectionism. The podcast discusses the parental role in helping children face challenges and emotions, highlighting the importance of fostering resilience and self-trust.
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Quick takeaways
Normalize children's struggles to build self-trust and resilience.
Encourage children to embrace discomfort for growth and independent problem-solving.
Deep dives
Parent's Concerns About Child's Impatience and Lack of Self-Trust
A parent seeks advice for her highly gifted almost six-year-old who displays impatience and a lack of self-trust, possibly stemming from her tendencies towards perfectionism. The mother is worried about her own parenting missteps affecting her daughter's confidence and ability to face challenges independently. Janet Lansbury advises the parent to normalize her daughter's struggles and allow her to experience discomfort, emphasizing the importance of letting the child navigate her emotions and challenges with parental support rather than rescue.
Promoting Comfort in the Process and Building Trust
Janet Lansbury explains that while loving the process may be ambitious, fostering a sense of safety and comfort in tackling challenges is crucial. Parents play a significant role in setting the tone for their children's emotional experiences and responses by demonstrating acceptance of discomfort and uncertainty. Encouraging the child to embrace difficult feelings and situations as part of growth and development can lead to increased self-trust and resilience in facing challenges.
Embracing Discomfort and Nurturing Growth Through Struggles
Janet Lansbury highlights the adaptability of children and their capacity for growth and change, especially during challenging phases. By allowing children to confront and navigate discomfort, parents can help them develop courage and strength in facing obstacles independently. Normalizing struggles and providing support without overprotecting or rescuing children from challenges can empower them to build confidence and trust in their abilities.
A parent describes her 6-year-old daughter as a perfectionist with no patience and a serious discomfort with feelings of failure. She says that all her well-intentioned efforts to calm, comfort, and coach only make things worse, so she wonders if Janet knows how she might help her daughter “face problems confidently on her own and foster a love of process.”
For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on audio at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ).
Her exclusive audio series "Sessions" is also available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (SessionsAudio.com).
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