In today's episode of Men's Therapy Podcast, host Marc Azoulay sits down with Dr. Robert Glover. He is the renowned author of "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and a leading expert on men's issues. Dr. Glover discusses his transformation from a "nice guy" to promoting genuine masculinity. He now advocates for building healthy relationships based on authenticity.

Dr. Glover's story begins with his relationship struggles. He realized that being "nice" wasn't serving him well. He shares how his second wife's ultimatum pushed him to seek help. This experience inspired him to write his groundbreaking book. As a therapist and through personal experience, Dr. Glover noticed patterns in men who were "too nice." He saw how these behaviours held them back. To address this, he developed strategies to help men break these self-defeating habits. His work now focuses on empowering men to embrace authentic masculinity.

The Shadow Side of Nice Guy Syndrome

Dr. Glover delves into the darker aspects of Nice Guy Syndrome. He explains that nice guys often aren't as nice as they believe themselves to be. This leads to the development of toxic masculinity over time. He explains that behind their pleasant exteriors, these men often conceal resentment. They may also display passive-aggressive behaviour. Some may even struggle with violent impulses. The root of this behaviour lies in toxic shame and anxiety developed in childhood.

"Nice guys have this shame and this anxiety. And what they do, the way that it, the way there, the particular neuroses of nice guy syndrome shows up is through two ways. One, trying to become what we think other people want us to be, to be liked and loved and get our needs met. So, we're chameleons," Dr. Glover explains.

Identifying Needs and Wants

One of the key challenges for nice guys is recognizing and expressing their own needs and wants. Dr. Glover offers practical advice for men struggling with this issue. He advises men to start by recalling activities they enjoyed as a child. He guides them to focus on their basic needs as well as emotional needs. Men need to understand the distinction between needs and wants. By practising giving to yourself instead of always giving to others, this can be achieved.

Dr. Glover emphasizes the importance of "cooperative reciprocal relationships" in meeting one's needs. He encourages men to surround themselves with people. And resources that can help them fulfil their needs and wants in a mutually beneficial way.

Role of Women in Men's Development

While the focus is primarily on men's growth, Dr. Glover addresses the role women can play in supporting nice guys' development. He suggests that women can offer constructive feedback when necessary. They can be supportive and reinforcing when men make efforts to change. They can work on being better listeners and more attentive to men's emotional cues. But, Dr. Glover stresses that the primary responsibility for change lies with men themselves.

Future of Men's Development

Dr. Glover expresses optimism about the future of men's development. He notes the increasing availability of resources and communities for men seeking growth. He envisions a new generation of men who are more conscious and open-hearted. They are powerful and fierce, yet connected. They are in touch with their dark side and are joyful and receptive in life.

"We're gonna make a fucking dent in the universe. We're gonna make a difference in this world. And, I see that happening," Dr. Glover enthuses.

Conclusion

This episode of the Men's Therapy Podcast offers invaluable insights for men looking to overcome Nice Guy Syndrome. It offers guidance to develop healthier, more authentic relationships. Dr. Glover's decades of experience and wisdom offer hope for men struggling with these issues.

He highlights the importance of taking responsibility for one's needs and wants. Men must recognize the value of cooperative reciprocal relationships. This allows the need for men to step into their role as conscious, open-hearted leaders. Dr. Glover's optimism about the future of men's development is infectious. He envisions a generation of integrated men who can make a significant positive impact on the world.

As we look to the future, it's evident that the work of overcoming Nice Guy Syndrome is more relevant than ever. There is a rise in passivity among younger generations. Hence there's a growing need for resources and communities. Ones that can guide men towards a more authentic and fulfilling expression of masculinity.

By seeking out supportive group therapies, men can work towards becoming more integrated. They can become authentic versions of themselves. This will benefit not only their own lives but also their relationships and the world around them.

About Dr. Robert Glover

Dr. Robert Glover is a renowned psychotherapist, author, and speaker. He has dedicated his career to helping men overcome Nice Guy Syndrome. He guides them to develop healthier relationships. His groundbreaking book, "No More Mr. Nice Guy," has sold millions of copies worldwide. It has been translated into many languages.

With over 30 years of experience in the field, Dr. Glover has become a leading voice in men's personal development. He holds a Ph.D. in Marriage and Family Therapy. He helps men healthily tackle relationship dynamics. He has worked with thousands of men to help them break free from self-defeating patterns. And embrace their authentic selves.

Besides his clinical work and writing, Dr. Glover leads workshops, seminars, and online communities. This includes his men's program called 'Integration Nation'. His approach combines psychological insights with practical strategies. This helps men to become more confident, assertive, and fulfilled in all areas of their lives.

Resources Discussed

"No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert Glover

Integration Nation men's program

Dr. Glover's website

No More Mr. Nice Guy Website

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