The Double Win

CAREY NIEUWHOF: The Essential Art of Self-Leadership

Nov 13, 2024

Carey Nieuwhof, a former lawyer turned leadership expert and podcaster, shares his transformative journey and insights on self-leadership. He discusses the hidden traps of burnout and cynicism, emphasizing the importance of self-examination in preventing mid-grade burnout. Carey advocates for curiosity and genuine relationships, stressing that leaders must prioritize personal well-being amidst overwhelming modern connectivity. His practical strategies for setting boundaries and enhancing productivity resonate with anyone seeking a balanced approach to work and life.

01:02:50

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Carey Nieuwhof

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Episode notes

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Quick takeaways

Examining unexamined motivations is crucial for leaders to prevent burnout and align their goals with true desires.

Self-leadership involves maintaining health and emotional stability while facing the challenges of leadership, particularly the risk of burnout.

Combatting cynicism through curiosity and empathy is essential for fostering positive relationships and maintaining a hopeful leadership outlook.

Deep dives

Examining Motivations

Understanding one's motivations is essential for sustained success and well-being. Leaders often get caught up in the pursuit of external achievements without examining the internal drives that propel them. Unexamined motivations can lead to unhappiness and burnout, as individuals might push themselves toward goals that do not align with their true desires. Reflecting on these motivations and underlying reasons for actions can help prevent destructive patterns and contribute to a more fulfilling leadership journey.

Intro

2min

From Law to Leadership: A Personal Journey

10min

Beyond Cynicism: Embracing Curiosity

10min

Understanding Burnout and Cynicism: The Struggle for Engagement

6min

Navigating the Overwhelm of Modern Connectivity

2min

The Importance of Prioritizing Genuine Relationships

4min

Mastering Self-Leadership and Productivity

28min

In this episode of The Double Win Show, Michael Hyatt and Megan Hyatt Miller sit down with leadership expert Carey Nieuwhof to explore the hidden traps of burnout, cynicism, and the tolls of unexamined motivations. Carey dives into his journey from lawyer to pastor to leadership coach, sharing how he’s learned to manage energy and avoid burnout while building an impactful career.

Carey’s insights touch on the importance of self-leadership, the dangers of “mid-grade burnout,” and strategies for setting lasting boundaries. The conversation is rich with practical advice for leaders in any field who want to achieve the Double Win—winning at work and succeeding at life.

Memorable Quotes

“I think unexamined motivations drive you until they destroy you.”
“Self-leadership is the ability to heal ourselves, to stay engaged, to stay healthy—everything from avoiding burnout and not becoming the person everyone resents to staying engaged at a meaningful level and avoiding cynicism and pride.”
“Just look at the internal battle of a leader, how lonely it is, how you often feel you don’t have anyone to turn to about the personal demons you’re fighting.”
“I worked with a lot of lawyers who were really at the top of their game. It was sort of the Wall Street of Canada, right? I realized very early on: Oh, it’s empty up here.”
“I think you’ve got to make a decision: I’m going to trust again. I’m going to hope again. I’m going to believe again.”
“Cynical people are never curious and curious people are never cynical. They seem to be mutually exclusive.”
“That position of feeling numb most days is a big warning sign.”
“We’re inundated with too many relationships and we’re overwhelmed, overworked, overcommitted.”
“If you’re winning at work and losing at home, you’re losing.”

Key Takeaways

Self-Leadership Matters: Carey explains that leading yourself well is the foundation of effective leadership.
The Dangers of Mid-Grade Burnout: While many recognize full-blown burnout, Carey highlights the subtler, persistent signs that show up as disengagement or apathy.
Prioritize Close Relationships: Carey describes the power of “3–5 deep friendships” that keep us grounded and resilient.
The Antidote to Cynicism: When cynicism creeps in, choosing curiosity can help leaders reconnect and stay energized.
Boundaries with Purpose: Categorical decisions (like “no breakfast meetings”) can help protect your peak hours and ensure work doesn’t consume your personal life.

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