The Daily Dad

You Will Want A Crowded Table

Jan 24, 2020

02:58

Snipd AI

The speaker discusses the importance of creating a warm and inviting environment for children and nurturing a strong relationship with them, rather than just focusing on their success. Success as a parent is having a crowded table filled with loved ones to spend time with.

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Quick takeaways

Success as a parent is not solely based on having healthy kids, but also on creating a strong bond and connection with them through shared moments and family gatherings represented by a crowded table.

To ensure a crowded table in the future with kids who want to spend time with you, it is important for parents to prioritize love, support, and unconditional acceptance over academic success or material wealth, by setting a positive example, listening without judgment, and nurturing a loving and supportive environment.

Deep dives

The Importance of a Crowded Table

Success as a parent is not only about having healthy kids, but also about creating a strong bond and connection with them. The podcast emphasizes the significance of having a crowded table, a symbol of family gatherings and shared moments. It highlights the importance of having kids who choose to spend time with you willingly and have a good relationship with you throughout their lives. It suggests that while striving for academic success or material wealth may be tempting, fostering love, support, and unconditional acceptance is crucial for building a strong foundation and ensuring that your children want to remain connected to you.

You Will Want A Crowded Table

3min

Right now, you’re thinking about what all the other parents are doing. What schools they’re getting their kids into. What the best strollers are. You’re thinking about how to get them to do their homework or how to keep their rooms clean. How to manage your life and career and staying in shape. It’s overwhelming and you’re stressed.

Every dad is.

So maybe it’s helpful to sit back and really think about what parental success really looks like. First, of course, it’s having healthy kids who survive to adulthood—that’s obvious. But second, when you flash way forward into the future, what is it? It’s that beautiful phrase captured in The Highwomen hit—it’s having a crowded table. At Thanksgiving. On birthdays. At some summer house on the beach you all rented as a family. That is: having kids who you get to see, who you have a good relationship with, who you want to spend time with...for the rest of your days.

Tiger Moms and Tiger Dads might raise Harvard grads, but will they have crowded tables? Snowplow parents might feel important for the first eighteen years of their kids’ lives, but will those kids resent them for spoiling and sheltering them? Instead of a crowded table, might their house be crowded with kids who have failed to launch?

Some of the best lyrics in the Highwomen song capture the path forward for a dad who is looking forward to those crowded table days:

If we want a garden

We're gonna have to sow the seed

Plant a little happiness

Let the roots run deep

If it's love that we give

Then it's love that we reap

If we want a garden

We're gonna have to sow the seed

If you want a crowded table, you’ll need to plant the seeds. You’ll need to make the decisions now so they’ll want to make the decision to fly from their homes to yours when they’re older and have families of their own. That means listening without judgment. That means being a fan and a supporter. That means loving unconditionally. That means managing your temper. You’ll need to set the table today to have the one you’ll want tomorrow.

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