Dharmapunx NYC The Blame and Shame Spiral: An Alternative to Fault Finding and Self-Pity After Relationship Ruptures
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May 22, 2024 The podcast delves into breaking the blame and shame cycle in relationships, emphasizing the importance of addressing emotional pain. It explores finding a middle path in spiritual endeavors and relationships for emotional well-being. Unraveling relationship dynamics, childhood influences, and conflict resolution are discussed. A guided relaxation exercise and meditation on present sensations are provided, along with insights on forgiveness and letting go of blame in relationships.
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Social Pain Mirrors Physical Pain
- The brain processes social disconnection as physical pain, activating emotional distress.
- Intellectualizing relationship breakdowns dulls pain initially but often worsens suffering by triggering rumination.
The Blame-Shame Spiral
- After relational ruptures, people cycle between blaming themselves and others.
- This blame-shame spiral fuels recurring distress through black-or-white thinking.
Origins of Shame in Childhood
- Children blame themselves for caregiving failures to maintain hope of influence.
- This self-blame evolves into shame, a deep feeling of being unworthy of love.