The Psychology of Depression and Anxiety - Dr. Scott Eilers

What to do when your dreams die

Oct 18, 2023

Learn about the two types of grief: regular and ambiguous, and how ambiguous grief can be as devastating as regular grief. Discover the healing process for both types of grief, allowing emotions to come and go naturally. Explore the challenges of navigating ambiguous grief, such as the loss of an envisioned future. Understand the destructive power of comparison and the importance of finding closure for healthier grieving.

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Introduction

00:00 • 4min

Ambiguous Grief: Exploring Unfulfilled Expectations

04:10 • 5min

Navigating the Process of Grief and Giving Yourself Breaks

09:01 • 2min

Understanding and Coping with Ambiguous Grief

10:40 • 4min

The Destructive Power of Comparison

14:59 • 2min

Grief isn't one-size-fits-all, and it's the nuance between the types that causes many people to stay stuck. There are two types of grief: regular grief when you lose something you had, and ambiguous grief when you realize you'll never have something you always wanted. Ambiguous grief is real and can be just as painful and I'm going to help you walk through that in this episode. Get my book: For When Everything is Burning https://bit.ly/forwheneverythingisburning Connect with me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.scott.eilers See it on YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCogWI9kVVvmRRPzzQBrOwzg Here's what you'll find in this video: 00:00 Two Types of Grief: Regular and Ambiguous There are two types of grief - regular grief, which occurs when you lose something you once had, and ambiguous grief, which is the realization that something you always thought you'd have will never come to be. Ambiguous grief can be as devastating as regular grief, and it often goes unrecognized by the world. It's like mourning the loss of an alternate version of yourself that will never exist. 04:02 Healing from Grief Both regular and ambiguous grief can heal over time through a combination of time passing and the expression of grief. It's important to feel and express your emotions naturally. Grief doesn't follow a linear path and comes in waves, so it's crucial to allow these emotions to come and go. Avoid rushing the healing process and remember that it's okay to take emotional breaks when the grief fades temporarily. 08:15 Ceremonies and Closure While traditional ceremonies like funerals help provide closure for regular grief, ambiguous grief often lacks such closure. To cope with ambiguous loss, consider creating your own form of ceremony or acknowledgment to signify the finality of your dream or expectation. Closure is essential to moving forward and preventing prolonged denial and limbo states. 12:15 Avoiding the Pitfalls of Comparison Comparing your ambiguous grief to others' situations can lead to negative emotions and hinder your healing process. Avoid the impulse to compare, as it will only make you feel angry and hurt. Each person's experience is unique, and comparing yourself to others won't bring you closer to healing or closure. Fight back against the urge to compare your situation with others.