21. Rescuing Women from Bad Sex with Sheila Gregoire

Jul 12, 2021

Sheila Gregoire, an author and expert on sexual well-being within Evangelical Christianity, discusses misconceptions surrounding marriage and sexuality. She highlights findings from her groundbreaking survey of Christian women's sexual satisfaction. Sheila debunks myths that prioritize male pleasure and emphasizes women's needs. The conversation touches on unrealistic expectations placed on women, the role of men in fostering intimacy, and the ongoing need for open dialogue about female desires. Her insights call for a revolutionary shift in how sexuality is approached in faith communities.

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INSIGHT

Sex Framed As Primarily For Men

Christian marriage literature frames sex as primarily for men, excluding women's experience.
That framing shapes harmful expectations and advice across evangelical culture.

ADVICE

Treat Sex As Mutual And Pleasurable

See sex as mutual, intimate and pleasurable for both partners.
Prioritize both partners' pleasure and shared intimacy over one-sided 'release' narratives.

INSIGHT

Bad Science Behind Popular Advice

Many best-selling evangelical sex and marriage books rely on flawed or tiny surveys and misinterpretations.
Authors often generalize from weak data and ignore basic scientific standards.

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Sheila Gregoire, author of The Great Sex Rescue and the Facebook page To Love, Honor and Vacuum, is back to break down the misleading issues in Evangelical literature about marriage and sex. Beginning with her background, Sheila explains how the book The Great Sex Rescue became one of the first comprehensive scientific surveys on Evangelical Christian women’s sexual mental well-being and pleasure. Sheila and Tim explore the myths and harmful influences of these well known marriage books by Evangelical Christian authors.

Show Notes

Sheila, begins by giving background on how her venture into the world of Christian women’s sexuality began. She explains how the book The Great Sex Rescue came about. Her research for the book used the first of its kind scientific survey to gauge women’s sexual satisfaction, women’s marriage health and women’s overall view of sex. Sheila, identifies four problems within the literature of well known Christian authors: The most damaging being sex is primarily for men, women were experiencing pleasure 47% less than the rate of their husbands, physical explanations for lack of pleasure not addressed, and myths about women’s sexuality. Sheila, goes on to explain how those books were not scientifically analyzed but used faulty interpretation of the data of peer reviewed material. Tim and Sheila look at the myths promoted in these well known books such as: Men have no self-control and therefore their wives must satisfy their sexual needs without a consideration of their own, issues of consent in marriage exploited by these authors, the dehumanization of men by portraying them as sex crazed maniacs, and how a woman’s painful intercourse isn’t tied to her need for non-intercourse stimulation.

Resources

Check out Sheila's Website

Follow Tim on Instagram // @thenewevangelicals

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