Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel Esther Calling - My Mom Should Have Set a Different Example
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May 6, 2024 A woman grapples with resentment towards her mother, reflecting on the childhood feelings of abandonment that shape her current choices in relationships. Esther unpacks the double narrative of seeking safety in love while dealing with the lingering impact of family dynamics. They explore emotional dependency, the quest for independence, and how past experiences influence present connections. This journey reveals the complexities of intimacy, the healing needed to move forward, and the delicate balance between vulnerability and self-worth.
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Caller's Relationship History
- The caller grew up in a family and culture where multiple partners and emotional unavailability were normalized.
- She often chose "safe" partners to avoid getting hurt, like her current husband of less than two years.
Family Dynamics
- The caller's family history includes men with multiple partners and alcohol issues.
- Her mother moved from one partner to another, seeking men despite distrusting them.
Learned vs. Ingrained Behaviors
- Esther points out that learned behaviors eventually become ingrained.
- The caller recognizes that her mother's relationship patterns are influencing her own.