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A reader asked: "I used to feel guilty when I would conjure up different scenarios in my head and do mental role playing during sex with my husband. However after reading your articles about women's sex drives in monogamous relationships, I’ve felt somewhat relieved. However, in terms of getting yourself off, is nothing really off the table? I have trouble accepting that idea, especially when it’s fantasizing about other people. I’ve never tried that as I think it’s crossing the line, and I’d hate to know if my husband was thinking of another woman. My main question is: can you really be connecting with your partner during sex if you are are focusing on something or someone else?"
I address this in my classic gentle and subtle style (ha). PS I don't really even know who my UPS guy is, ironically.
Links:
8 Myths About Women's Orgasms
What Men Think About Sex Versus Reality
The Dr. Psych Mom Show
with clinical psychologist
Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten