EP 91: Emotionally Unavailable Partners: How to Get Out of This Love Trap

“Emotionally Unavailable” used to turn me on 

 

It was the challenge for me - and it activated all of my old beliefs about love…

 

Unhelpful beliefs like: 

- “I have to work for emotional intimacy” 

- “I have to earn attention, love, and intimacy” 

- “If I’m good enough/low maintenance enough I won’t be abandoned”

 

Emotionally unavailable partners trigger childhood wounds that have never been healed…

 

And the unconscious wish of the brain is that THIS TIME it could be different 

 

This time we would be loved, we would win the attention and love we so craved in childhood, and if we can do this successfully now, it will somehow make up for all of the times we felt neglected/abandoned as children

 

In psychoanalysis we call this: “repetition compulsion”

 

The unconscious secret wish of the ego that through repetition of an unhealthy pattern we may one day “get the desired outcome” 

 

This was me, for years. Repeating the same pattern over and over…

 

After finally hitting rock bottom (after a decade of unhealthy dating), and then committing to “doing the work” I’m happy to say “emotionally unavailable” doesn’t turn me on anymore 

 

And I can spot it from a mile away ;) 

 

If you resonate with the pain of repeating patterns over and over and getting the same result each time you may be interested in the “Rewiring Your Relationship Blueprint” Masterclass I provided recently. 

 

In the masterclass I talk about why you are attracted to who you’re attracted to, why you keep repeating patterns, and what you can do about it! 

 

Here is the link to the Masterclass so you can take the first step to rewiring your brain for healthy emotionally available love: 

https://drmorgancoaching.mykajabi.com/rewiring-your-relationship-blueprint-watch-now 

 

Forever in your corner - Dr. Morgan