Sam Jolman: A Vision for Healthy Masculine Sexuality
Jun 11, 2024
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Therapist Sam Jolman discusses healthy masculine sexuality, societal influences, therapy for healing harmful beliefs, biblical perspectives, emotional connection, purity, arousal, embodiment, navigating societal expectations, and having vulnerable conversations on sex and gender.
Encouraging ongoing conversations with children about sexuality creates a healthy understanding and vision from a young age.
Distinguishing between attraction, arousal, and lust promotes staying present and respecting others without objectification.
Deep dives
The Importance of Open Dialogue in Parenting about Sexuality
Encouraging ongoing conversations with children throughout different stages of growth about sexuality, ensuring they feel comfortable and open to asking questions. Acknowledging that the 'sex talk' is a continuous dialogue that evolves as children mature, promoting a healthy understanding and vision of sexuality.
The Significance of Acting Upon Sexual Desires Without Falling into Lust
Distinguishing between attraction, arousal, and lust, emphasizing the importance of staying present and aware of one's body's responses. Discussing the concept of awe as an alternative to lust, allowing individuals to appreciate others in a respectful and reverent manner without objectifying them.
Embracing Embodiment and Vulnerability in Understanding Sexuality
Highlighting the necessity of being aware and connected to one's body to enhance emotional intelligence and decipher bodily cues. Exploring the impact of societal expectations on men to suppress vulnerability and prioritize endurance over bodily needs, advocating for a culture that embraces vulnerability and embodiment.
Promoting Curiosity and Ensuring Comfort with Body Awareness
Encouraging parents to foster curiosity and comfort with body awareness from a young age, fostering an open environment for discussing sexuality and physical changes. Suggesting practical approaches like playful questions and casual conversations to familiarize children with anatomical knowledge and their bodies, promoting a healthy relationship with their sexuality.
Men today are starved for sexual formation. They've been failed by parents, churches, and culture alike, leading to widespread shame, confusion, and brokenness in the area of sexuality. We talked with therapist Sam Jolman about helping men reconnect their God-given sexuality with innocence, awe, and joy, and shows readers how to celebrate--instead of struggle against--the gift of sexual desire. Sam is the author of The Sex Talk You Never Got: Reclaiming the Heart of Masculine Sexuality.
Sam Jolman is a professional therapist with over 20 years of experience specializing in men’s issues and sexual trauma recovery. He seeks to help men and women heal, know their stories and find greater sexual wholeness and aliveness. He received his master’s in counseling from Reformed Theological Seminary and was future trained in Narrative Trauma car through the Allender Center at the Seattle School of Theology and psychology. Sam lives in Colorado with his wife an three sons. Together they enjoy exploring the best camping spots in a pop-up camper. Sam goes to therapy, loves fly fishing and can often be found trying to catch his breath on the floor of his local CrossFit Gym.