The pandemic has left many in their 20s feeling stagnant, grappling with lost milestones and a warped sense of time. Discover the concept of 'pandemic pause' and how it has reshaped dating and friendships. Learn about emotional strategies to cope with grief over missed opportunities and the importance of self-care. Embrace personal journeys and redefine what growth means in this new reality. Together, explore ways to navigate the post-pandemic landscape while finding joy and purpose in the present.
The pandemic created a 'skip' that left many in their 20s feeling emotionally younger, impacting their personal development and agency.
Long-term grief from missed milestones during the pandemic highlights the importance of validating feelings and focusing on creating new meaningful experiences.
Deep dives
The Pandemic Skip Phenomenon
The pandemic skip refers to the feeling many individuals in their 20s experience, where they perceive their mental age to be younger than their chronological age due to lost experiences during the pandemic. This phenomenon stems from a collective trauma that caused many to feel frozen in time, missing out on essential milestones such as graduations, travel, and social engagements. For instance, someone who is 27 may feel emotionally akin to a 23-year-old, creating a sense of stunted personal growth and development. The gap in these formative experiences due to the pandemic has led to a widespread feeling of being emotionally behind in life.
Loss of Agency and Its Consequences
The pandemic significantly diminished individuals' sense of agency, leaving many feeling powerless and dependent on external circumstances. Young adults typically exercise their independence through milestones like moving out or starting careers, which were heavily restricted during lockdowns. This lack of control contributed to feelings of learned helplessness, where the belief that one cannot change their circumstances becomes prevalent, fostering a pessimistic outlook on life. As evidenced by studies, this loss of autonomy not only increased uncertainty but also heightened self-consciousness in making life decisions.
Long-Term Grief and Missed Opportunities
Long-term grief manifests in various forms during and after the pandemic, with many individuals mourning the loss of experiences and opportunities that were once anticipated. This disenfranchised grief is often overlooked, yet it encompasses the sorrow of missing out on milestones such as important birthdays, job opportunities, and social connections. For example, individuals who were unable to attend in-person graduations or travel during this time report feelings of loss that linger long afterward. Recognizing and validating these feelings is crucial, as they reflect a genuine emotional response to lost potential experiences.
Reclaiming Time and Experiences
To cope with the aftermath of the pandemic skip, individuals are encouraged to focus on reclaiming time and creating new meaningful experiences rather than trying to make up for lost moments. Suggestions include prioritizing quality over quantity in experiences, creating a bucket list of activities that were missed, and reframing personal goals to reflect the changes brought about by the pandemic. It’s vital to recognize that societal timelines are arbitrary and that everyone’s journey is unique, emphasizing that fulfilling experiences can still be created in the present. By leaning into spontaneity and cherishing current moments, individuals can begin to move past feelings of inadequacy and embrace the time they have now.
Today, let's talk about the pandemic skip and the lost years of our 20s that many of us are still trying to catch up on. Covid-19 was such a period of collective trauma, and a lot of us feel frozen in time, having missed out on key experiences, developmental milestones and opportunities during our 20s because of it. In today's episode, we discuss:
What is the 'pandemic pause'
The 3 ways the pandemic altered us
The consequence of missing out
How the pandemic impacted dating and friendship
Should you take a gap year?
The 4 best tips for overcoming pandemic skip
Trust me, if you're experiencing grief over your lost years, you're not alone! Listen now!
The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.