20th Anniversary Collection: Surviving my dad's arrest and learning to thrive

Aug 12, 2025

Kirsty de Vallance, a former TV casting agent, shares her powerful story of growing up with a father in prison. At just 16, her world shattered as her father's arrest revealed family secrets and upheaval. She reflects on the impact of this trauma on her life and how it shaped her work today, mentoring children facing similar challenges. Kirsty also discusses her successful casting career, the intricacies of selecting diverse personalities for reality TV, and the importance of community support during crises.

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ANECDOTE

Raid That Changed Everything

Kirsty was 16 when police served a warrant, searched the house and revealed her father's arrest in a major heroin importation case.
The four-hour search felt orderly but humiliating and marked the start of national publicity and family collapse.

ANECDOTE

Mother's Death Amid The Crisis

Following her father's arrest Kirsty’s mother suffered a stress-induced asthma attack and died suddenly at a train station.
Kirsty had to identify her mother's body and continue supporting siblings through HSC and daily survival.

ANECDOTE

Sustained Visiting Routine

Kirsty and her siblings maintained a roster to visit their father through his nine-and-a-half-year sentence.
Visits focused on normal conversation and planning for early release rather than detailed discussions of his crimes.

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Longtime TV casting agent, Kirsty de Vallance was 16 when Police searched the house and arrested her father on serious drugs charges. Throughout her teen years she had to navigate the complexity of having a parent in prison.

The family went into freefall and a short time later Kirsty's mother died.

Her two older sisters raised Kirsty and she stayed in touch with her father until his release from prison.

The effects on the family were far-reaching and devastating and as a result, Kirsty volunteers with children who find themselves in a situation like hers — with parents in jail.

For many years Kirsty ran a successful casting agency with her husband and together they found contestants for TV shows including Masterchef and Project Runway.

Further information

First broadcast June 2015.

2025 update: Kirsty continued working in TV casting up until recently, but now she and her husband focus on the wellbeing side of production.

Their company ‘Strength on Set’ looks after the health and wellbeing of cast and crew on shows like ‘Farmer Wants a Wife’ and ‘The Bachelor’.

Kirsty has also returned to studying, and is completing a Diploma in Counselling.

Standout story – Nicholas Hammond

You can hear Richard's full conversation with Nicholas Hammond on the ABC Listen app or wherever you get your podcasts.

https://www.abc.net.au/listen/programs/conversations/nicholas-hammond-the-sound-of-music-cinderella-julie-andrews/14069188

You can read all about the Conversations origin story on the ABC News website.

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2025-08-03/richard-fidler-reflects-on-20-years-of-conversations/105495784

The Executive Producer of this episode of Conversations was Pam O'Brien.

This episode of Conversations explores parents in prison, kids with a parent in prison, drugs charges, heroin, early death, mentoring, prison, jail, Ireland, TV casting agent, Farmer Wants a Wife, Masterchef and Project Runway.

To binge even more great episodes of the Conversations podcast with Richard Fidler and Sarah Kanowski go the ABC listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. There you’ll find hundreds of the best thought-provoking interviews with authors, writers, artists, politicians, psychologists, musicians, and celebrities.