Dharma Lab

DL Ep. 15: The False Promise of Desire - Our Addiction to a More Ideal Future

4 snips
Dec 2, 2025
Explore the intriguing divide between 'wanting' and 'liking,' revealing how chasing desires often leads to more craving instead of fulfillment. Delve into the neuroscience behind our cravings and learn how to shift focus from future aspirations to savoring the present moment. Discover how even ordinary experiences can evoke a sense of awe and gratitude. The discussion also touches on practical rituals for cultivating appreciation and reframing difficult interactions as opportunities for empathy. Embrace the idea that happiness is found in being present.
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INSIGHT

Addiction To An Ever-Distant Future

  • We habitually evaluate the present against an idealized future that never arrives, creating chronic dissatisfaction.
  • Strengthening savoring shifts attention toward what nourishes us instead of chasing a moving goalpost.
ANECDOTE

Coffee Craving That Undermines Pleasure

  • Richard J. Davidson described wanting coffee despite knowing it causes unpleasant palpitations and short-lived pleasure.
  • He chose black tea instead and recognized the cycle of craving producing more wanting and less liking.
INSIGHT

Neuroscience: Wanting ≠ Liking

  • Neuroscience separates wanting and liking, showing reward regions often reflect craving more than enjoyment.
  • Increased craving tends to reduce liking, a pattern especially clear in substance abuse research.
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