Comedian and best-selling author Ruby Wax opens up about repeating negative patterns, coping with depression, and the importance of allowing people to be multi-faceted humans. They also delve into their wild experiences, Ruby's book 'I'm Not As Well As I Thought I Was,' her time in a mental health clinic, and the toxic relationship with fame. The impact of Frazzled Cafes, different therapies, and finding balance are also discussed.
Ruby Wax found that participating in a 30-day silent retreat provided a sense of safety and allowed her to confront and transform harmful patterns within herself.
Ruby Wax discovered a sense of tranquility and peace 80 feet underwater, embracing her nomadic lifestyle and finding contentment without the need for external validation or a conventional sense of home.
Deep dives
The Power of Silence and Stillness
One of the main revelations in the podcast episode is the transformative experience Ruby Wax had during a 30-day silent retreat. Initially resistant and skeptical, she eventually found that the silence provided a sense of safety and a break from the constant noise in her mind. As the mind chatter subsided, she experienced moments of stillness and awakeness, a rare and precious state for her. She also learned the importance of self-awareness and identifying harmful patterns within oneself before they can be eliminated.
Discovering Her Cruelty and Facing Childhood Trauma
During the retreat, Ruby Wax recognized a thread of cruelty within herself, similar to the way her father would use cutting remarks to put people down. This revelation allowed her to confront and challenge this behavior, taking steps toward self-transformation. She also delved into her childhood experiences, facing the painful memories and realizing how they had shaped her. Through therapy and introspection, she gained insight into her dysfunctional family dynamic and began unraveling the impact it had on her sense of self.
Finding Peace in Nature and Deep Underwater
Ruby Wax's happy place was discovered 80 feet underwater. This experience provided a sense of safety and stillness, where external noise was silenced and the mind found peace. She found joy in the solitude and calmness she experienced underwater, away from the chaos of her thoughts and the outside world. In nature, whether it be underwater or surrounded by secluded landscapes, Ruby discovered a source of tranquility and a respite from the demands and distractions of daily life.
Embracing Non-Attachment and Embracing Nomadism
Through her journey and therapy, Ruby Wax developed a sense of acceptance and non-attachment to physical possessions and a fixed sense of home. She realized that her desire to constantly move and explore different places was a natural part of who she is. Rather than feeling guilty or judgmental about this nomadic lifestyle, she embraced it as her preference and found peace in accepting herself as she is. This self-awareness and self-acceptance allowed her to find contentment without the need for external validation or a conventional sense of home.
Have you noticed yourself repeating negative patterns of behaviour throughout your life? Comedian and best-selling author Ruby Wax has become aware she was doing this in order to feel safe after a tumultuous childhood.
In this chat with Fearne, Ruby acknowledges that her depression will most likely always come back, but working to understand it means she has the tools to cope a little better each time it does. They also talk about why it’s so important for mental health that we allow people to be multi-faceted humans.
Ruby’s book, I’m Not As Well As I Thought I Was, is out now.