On today’s episode I meet Jessica Laurel Kane, a writer, illustrator, and storyteller whose new book, Once Upon an Upset: Illustrated Stories, Insights, and Reflections to Help Parent Our Children While Re-Parenting Ourselves, captures the spirit of Internal Family Systems in such an authentic and creative way.

Jessica isn’t formally trained in IFS, but she lives it and teaches it through her stories, illusrations, and books. She discovered IFS organically during a slient retreat and got to know her inner world by interviewing her parts--like characters in a story.

Her work shows how imagination can be a healing tool. She makes “being with your parts” feel accessible, visual, and real. This episode is about the power of healing through storytelling, and I think you’re going to love hearing Jessica tell hers.

Key Takeaways:

“I treated myself the way I was treated.” Jessica describes how growing up with neglect led to internal self-neglect and how getting to know her parts shifted that pattern.
How a 10-day silent retreat helped her meet the younger selves she’d been avoiding, and why she started interviewing them like characters in a story.
“Only you get to say when you’ll give birth to your creative self.” Jessica shares how parts of us often hold the key to our creativity and our stuckness.
Parenting as a mirror: how Jessica hears old internal voices while parenting her son, and how she learned to pause, check in, and choose a different path.
“The glue is compassion.” A conversation about looping thoughts, panic attacks, and what it takes to rewire old stories with new ones.
How her late mother planted the seeds for the parts work and self trust Jessica now uses to nurture herself and her son.

Favorite Quote:

"Sometimes I search desperately outside of myself for a place to rest and be still, forgetting that this place is inside of me."—Jessica Laurel Kane

About Jessica

Jessica Laurel Kane is the author of several books, most recently: Leaving Cleveland: A Memoir, The Boy with the Heavy Suitcase (a picture book) and Once Upon an Upset: Illustrated Stories, Insights and Reflections to Help Parent Our Children While Reparenting Ourselves. She lives in Upstate New York with her husband and son.

Episode Sponsor:

Michelle Glass

Whether you’re IFS-trained and supporting clients in medicine work or a psychedelic facilitator looking to integrate IFS, Michelle Glass offers courses designed to build confidence in preparation, journey, and integration. Courses include: “Supporting Clients’ Psychedelic Journeys Utilizing IFS” or her 22-Hour “Comprehensive IFS Introduction for Psychedelic Facilitators.” Learn more at thelistenerllc.com

Upcoming Events:

The Science of Calm free online summit April 21 - May 4, 2025

Self-Led Parenting: How Internal Family Systems Can Transform Your Family's Life - a course I'm leading with Susan Stiffelman on May 1, 2025

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Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside. He’s a writer and IFS Level 2 practitioner who specializes in helping therapists create with clarity and confidence.

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Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program.

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A Year of Well-Being