The Libido Fairy Podcast #109: There's No Such Thing As A Sex Drive (How Desire Really Works)
5 snips
Oct 6, 2025 The host challenges the idea of 'sex drive,' claiming it’s not a biological necessity like hunger. Instead, sexual desire is linked to reward systems and positive experiences. Negative feelings from past trauma can lower desire. Hannah explains the two types of desire: spontaneous and responsive, noting that many women experience the latter. She offers practical tips to boost sexual motivation, emphasizing the importance of pleasure, emotional safety, and rewarding experiences for a fulfilling intimacy.
AI Snips
Chapters
Transcript
Episode notes
Sex Isn’t A Biological Drive
- Sex is not a biological drive like hunger or thirst because you don't need sex to survive as an individual.
- Desire operates differently than drives and shouldn't be judged by survival-based models.
Desire Is Driven By Reward
- Sexual desire is driven by reward, not by a mandatory biological need.
- Positive experiences and chemical rewards like oxytocin make sexual behavior repeatable.
When Sex Feels Punishing
- Hannah lists examples of how sex can be punished emotionally, like feeling pressure or being abandoned after sex.
- She explains these punishments reduce motivation and make people avoid sex.