Growing Into Roles We're Not Good At Yet

In this episode I talk about what it’s like to take on a large number of new roles in a very short period of time, and how doing so can leave you feeling detached from yourself unless you approach those roles with clear thinking, humility, and attention. Over the last few years I became a husband, a father, an immigrant, and a practitioner in a new career field — all while continuing the roles I already had. That much change, that fast, forced me to build a framework for integrating new roles without losing who I am or slipping into unreasonable self-judgment.

Key takeaways from this episode include:

1. Roles come with duties — and the more life you live, the more roles you’ll have. That’s normal, but it demands active attention.

2. You will not be good at a new role at first — and that’s not a sign that you shouldn’t take it on. It’s a sign that you should start like a student, with humility.

3. You must “titrate” your expectations — judge yourself only according to what is reasonable for your stage of development in that role.

4. Define the “counting to 10” version of any new role — focus on performing the simplest, most fundamental parts well before anything else.

5. Habituation shapes character — who you are today is the sum of what you’ve gotten comfortable with; who you’ll become depends on the habits you build now.

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