What is secure attachment and how can I grow my own capacity for security?

We’ve covered the different protection and connection strategies – preoccupied (red on the spectrum), dismissing (blue on the spectrum), and unresolved (tie-dye), but today’s episode is all about what secure attachment actually looks like in daily life. You’ve experienced the continuum from red, blue, or even tie-dye, but how do you know when you’re in your green? A securely attached system doesn’t mean you’re never upset – it’s about having the ability to stay engaged while you have big feelings. In this episode, Ann and Sue discuss what this can look like conversationally, conditions that promote a secure base in parenting, and how to check in with yourself and deepen your connection with others.

Security feels like: ‘people are generally trustworthy, and so am I’ – Dr. Ann Kelley

Time Stamps for Secure Attachment

2:06 – What does security look like?

2:39 – Reminder of red and blue meanings in attachment

6:46 – Sue’s Bigfoot attachment analogy

8:27 – A secure attachment base is not the same as feeling securely attached

9:19 – The importance of integration and security

12:23 – Example of “joining” in conversation

19:39 – Understanding the attachment continuum

27:40 – Interactive questions to gauge your security

34:47 – Insightful questions to ask peers about influence

37:11 – Sue’s physical queues to know she’s in the green

39:37 – The role of curiosity in your green state

43:18 – Tracking your activation exercise

Resources for Secure Attachment

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu151-secure-parenting-dan-siegel-tina-payne-bryson-replay/

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/secure-relating-not-the-same-as-secure-attachment-with-ann-sue-190/

https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu-149-modern-attachment-regulation-spectrum-an-integrated-model-of-change/

Secure Attachment & Recognizing Secure States of Mind with Ann & Sue – Transcripts

Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation

We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that! We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises! We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!

Driving Referrals to Your Clinic With Jamey Schrier, PT