Scott Mehl interviews Tim St. John, an expert on shame culture. They discuss the complexities of cultural shame, the impact of shame on individuals' experiences and identities. They also talk about the importance of understanding cultural context in counseling, embracing compassion, and recognizing the misuse of scripture. The chapter explores the idols of change, syncretism, and offers resources for addressing shame. They emphasize the significance of gratitude and encouragement in dealing with shame and suffering.
Recognizing the need to talk to God about struggles creates a safe space for discussing pain and finding healing.
Understanding cultural shame as suffering and untangling identity from sin helps individuals gain a more accurate perspective.
Identifying lies embedded in cultural context and embracing truth from God's Word dismantles false beliefs and shapes a new identity.
Navigating other people's sins without bitterness or cynicism helps individuals heal while pursuing Christ in all aspects of life.
Deep dives
Awakening to the Reality of Talking to God
In order to help individuals understand their own contribution to their experience of shame, the first step is to awaken them to the reality that they can talk to God about their struggles. This recognition cultivates a safe space for them to begin discussing their pain and lamenting before God.
Understanding Shame as Suffering
The second step is to help individuals realize that cultural shame is a form of suffering. By untangling their identity from sin and acknowledging the external pressures and oppression they face, the counselor can guide them towards a more accurate understanding of their experience.
Recognizing the Influence of Suffering on Identity
Next, the counselor assists in recognizing how their sufferings have shaped their identity. By identifying the lies embedded in their cultural context and contrasting it with the truth of God's Word, individuals can begin to dismantle false beliefs and embrace their identity in Christ.
Awakening to the Sin of Others
Once individuals have a clearer understanding of their own suffering and identity, the counselor gradually introduces an awareness of the sins committed against them. This step requires caution to prevent a further cycle of shame. The focus is on helping individuals recognize the sins of others without falling into bitterness, anger, or cynicism.
Exploring Personal Sin and Pursuing Christ
The final step involves helping individuals examine their own sins. With a purified conscience, they can identify specific areas of personal sin that may contribute to their experience of shame. The counselor guides them towards pursuing Christ in all aspects of life, seeking to honor Him while enduring shame for His sake.
Key Point 1: Helping individuals overcome shame and cultivate forgiveness
One approach to helping individuals work through cultural shame and foster forgiveness is by guiding them to explore scripture. By using resources like Kristin Hatton's 31-day devotional book on forgiveness, individuals can engage with the Word of God and discover the transformative power of the gospel. For example, passages like Philippians 2 can encourage individuals to have the mind of Christ and honor those who have shamed them. By focusing on the grace of God and pointing out His image in others, individuals can experience freedom from shame and strive to be a fragrance of Christ in their relationships.
Key Point 2: Creating a culture of acceptance and embodying love in the church community
To effectively support individuals struggling with shame, the church community plays a crucial role. Preaching sermons that address cultural values and promote living life in light of eternity can help combat the shame narrative. Additionally, focusing on relational application in sermons, such as encouraging individuals to talk to others about their struggles and seek prayer support, fosters a culture of acceptance and support. Intentionally building trust and engaging in indirect confrontation can also help individuals experiencing shame to connect their vertical theology with their horizontal relationships. Embodying acceptance, offering forgiveness, and creating space for messiness in relationships are foundational elements for the church to provide a safe and transformative environment.
In this episode of The Messy Podcast, Scott Mehl interviews Tim St. John about the complexities of shame culture.
Sponsored by Eternity Bible College: https://www.eternity.edu
Resources:
Shame Interrupted by Ed Welch, https://www.amazon.com/Shame-Interrupted-Lifts-Worthlessness-Rejection/dp/1935273981
The Gospel for Shame blog post by Ed Welch, https://www.ccef.org/shame/
Lighthouse Church South Bay counseling resources, https://lighthousesouthbay.org/ministries/counseling/counselor-resources/
Lighthouse Church South Bay study guide: Caring For One Another, https://lighthousesouthbay.org/our-resources/?resourcetypefilter=study-guides&series_filter=caring-for-one-another
A Small Book About Why We Hide: How Jesus Rescues Us From Insecurity, Regret, Failure and Shame by Ed Welch, https://www.amazon.com/Small-Book-about-Why-Hide/dp/1645071413
How Asian Americans Misunderstand Shame blog post by Fred Mok, https://sola.network/article/asian-americans-misunderstand-shame/
Distinguishing Between Guilt and Guilt blog post by Robert Jones, https://www.biblicalcounselingcoalition.org/2017/07/18/distinguishing-between-guilt-and-guilt/
How Do You Respond to People Who Feel Shame? by Winston Smith, https://www.ccef.org/how-do-you-respond-people-who-feel-shame/
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