#12 - Self-Acceptance vs. Self-Improvement

Oct 23, 2023

Topics include emotional balance, fear, self-blame, creating safe spaces for children, empathetic listening, reframing fault and blame in divorce, balancing self-acceptance and self-improvement, breaking unhealthy attachments, regulating the nervous system, understanding developmental stages, communication styles, and creating a compassionate world.

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Introduction

00:00 • 2min

Regulating the Nervous System and Creating Safety

02:09 • 7min

Empathizing with Fear and Dissociation

09:08 • 21min

Understanding Developmental Stages and Nonviolence

30:16 • 6min

Understanding Developmental Stages and Regulating the Nervous System

35:49 • 2min

Breaking Unhealthy Attachments

37:28 • 15min

Communication Styles, Dominating the Dominator, and Creating a Compassionate World

52:03 • 5min

In this episode, we explore emotional balance, fear, and self-blame and practical strategies that help to create a safer emotional space, neutralize self-judgment, and promote healthier attachments. Want to regain balance when your body is a fear state? Listen in! We cover the importance of creating an open, non-judgmental spaces for children to express their feelings freely, and how empathetic listening transforms relational dynamics. We talk about how to help children bring their felt experiences into consciousness and learn to neutralize judgment. We also touch on the importance of expressing our needs without coming off as instructive. We explore balancing self-reliance and allowing for nurturance, revealing vulnerability without teaching someone how to love us, and managing expectations of predictability.

Show notes:
[1:01] How to regulate your nervous system to find safety when triggered
[7:02] What is nervous system re-regulation?
[9:32] Why should you not empathize with fear states?
[13:01] How to reframe fault and blame in a divorce situation?
[16:49] Role-playing to learn how to explore conflicting feelings about the divorce
[25:32] How to handle self-blame in the divorce situation
[28:44] What is radical acceptance and self-improvement, and what does it mean to keep them in balance?
[30:13] What resources discuss blame and judgment being developmentally appropriate for children?
[37:25] How do you break the unhealthy attachment to comfort in chaos?
[43:28] How do you receive nurturing support from your community?
[46:30] Finding solace in shared experiences and empathic connection
[50:39] How do you teach someone how to be with you?
[56:26] Outro

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