How to Be a Better Human How to give and receive good advice (w/ Hola Papi’s John Paul Brammer)
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May 13, 2024 
John Paul Brammer, writer behind Hola Papi, discusses what makes good advice, common solutions to problems, and how to navigate tricky situations. The podcast explores the history of advice columns, marginalized voices in the genre, and the dynamics of giving advice. A humorous discussion on dating a neighbor with a dangerous job adds a playful touch to the conversation.
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From Joke Column To Real Inbox
- John Paul Brammer started Olapapi as a jokey advice column on Grindr to avoid inventing weekly topics himself.
- The column exploded with letters and then shifted from satire to earnest advice as real people's needs arrived.
Friendly Voice Trumps Perfect Expertise
- Brammer framed his column like a friend at a bar: informal, funny, and willing to learn with the letter writer.
- That voice lets readers across identities feel seen and learn from each other's experiences.
Learning Community Lessons In Bars
- Brammer describes coming out in rural Oklahoma and learning gay culture informally from people at bars.
- Those mentors taught him slang, signals, and how to navigate queer spaces when formal resources were absent.