Myths Of Love, Sex, Dating, And Relationships | Myisha Battle
Apr 3, 2024
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Myisha Battle, a certified sex and dating coach and author of "This Is Supposed to Be Fun," dives deep into the myths surrounding romantic relationships. She challenges the 'You complete me' mindset, arguing it creates feelings of incompleteness. Battle discusses the importance of understanding intimacy beyond just sex, the orgasm gap, and modern dating challenges, including the impact of dating apps. She also emphasizes cultivating emotional connections and navigating societal pressures while seeking authentic relationships.
Relying on a partner to complete oneself can hinder true intimacy and sexual connection.
Recognizing hormone cycle differences can enhance sexual connection by understanding energy rhythms.
Encouraging curiosity in relationships combats monotony and deepens intimacy through exploration.
Deep dives
Problem with 'You Complete Me' Model of Romance
Assuming that finding a romantic partner makes individuals whole and perfect can lead to immense pressure and unrealistic expectations. This mindset often devalues other connections and can create an intense burden on one partner to fulfill all needs. Relying on a partner to complete oneself can hinder true intimacy and sexual connection, as it may overshadow individual growth and personal fulfillment.
Understanding Cycles and Different Expectations in Relationships
Recognizing the differing hormone cycles between men and women can help depersonalize issues in intimate relationships. Individuals need to work with natural energy rhythms and variations in desire to enhance sexual connection and intimacy. Acknowledging personal and partner's needs based on hormonal changes can foster a deeper understanding and mitigate feelings of rejection or inadequacy.
Promoting Intimacy Through Curiosity and Novel Experiences
Encouraging curiosity within the relationship can combat the monotony that often leads to a lack of novelty and sexual desire. By exploring new experiences as a couple and being proactive in scheduling regular relationship meetings, partners can deepen their connection and better understand each other's feelings and needs. Keeping the relationship dynamic and engaging through mutual curiosity and exploration can enhance intimacy and overall satisfaction.
Understanding Female Anatomy for Better Sexual Communication
Exploring the intricacies of female anatomy beyond just the clitoris, the podcast delves into the importance of understanding the entire structure of the vulva for enhanced sexual experiences. The conversation highlights the need for open and honest communication during sexual encounters, emphasizing the significance of women providing feedback to their male partners in real-time. By encouraging a deeper understanding of female pleasure and the ability to communicate desires freely, the episode suggests that bridging the orgasm gap and fostering egalitarian sexual experiences may be achievable.
Dating Mindset and Embracing Personal Growth in Relationships
Shifting the focus to dating and relationships, the episode discusses the challenges individuals face in the modern dating landscape, particularly with the prevalence of dating apps. It emphasizes the importance of cultivating one's profile authentically to attract meaningful connections and move beyond superficial interactions. By advocating for the acknowledgment of personal growth and sexual values in relationships, the episode presents a perspective that transcends societal norms and encourages individuals to prioritize genuine connections over superficial criteria or societal expectations.
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How our false expectations and misunderstandings about relationships can create an incalculable amount of suffering — and the many problems of the "You complete me" model.
Description:
This episode was part one of our four-part series where we’re counter-programming against the way Valentine’s Day is often celebrated, and examining different kinds of relationships including romantic, friendship, and family.
Today’s guest hews a bit more closely to the traditional Valentine’s Day theme and will do some myth-busting around all the things we tend to get wrong when we talk about romantic relationships.
Myisha Battle is the author of the book, “This Is Supposed to Be Fun: How To Find Joy in Hooking Up, Settling Down, and Everything in Between.” She also hosts the podcast How’s Your Sex Life? Much of her public work focuses on the early stages of relationships, but in her private practice, she counsels people at all stages, and in all kinds of relationships.
Content Warning: Explicit language and conversations about sex.
In this episode we talk about:
Five ways to improve intimacy and connection in romantic partnership
The nuts and bolts of sex, and how we often get intimacy and sex confused in unhelpful ways
Understanding men’s and women’s cycles to depersonalize issues in sex and relationships
The myth of finding “the one”
The orgasm gap
Bromance
And if you’re looking, tips on how to make finding a partner easier
