Myths Of Love, Sex, Dating, And Relationships | Myisha Battle

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Apr 3, 2024

Myisha Battle, a certified sex and dating coach and author of "This Is Supposed to Be Fun," dives deep into the myths surrounding romantic relationships. She challenges the 'You complete me' mindset, arguing it creates feelings of incompleteness. Battle discusses the importance of understanding intimacy beyond just sex, the orgasm gap, and modern dating challenges, including the impact of dating apps. She also emphasizes cultivating emotional connections and navigating societal pressures while seeking authentic relationships.

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INSIGHT

You Complete Me Model's Problems

The "you complete me" model assumes individuals are incomplete without romantic partners, placing undue pressure on finding "the one".
This model devalues other relationships and overburdens romantic partners, hindering sexual connection.

INSIGHT

Bromance and Emotional Dependency

Societal norms discourage men from expressing romantic feelings toward male friends, often misconstruing them as sexual desire.
This limits men's connections beyond female partners, overburdening women emotionally.

ADVICE

Improving Intimacy

Improve non-sexual intimacy through regular physical affection without a sexual agenda.
Schedule sex to create novelty and anticipation, separating it from non-sexual intimacy.

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How our false expectations and misunderstandings about relationships can create an incalculable amount of suffering — and the many problems of the "You complete me" model.

Description:

This episode was part one of our four-part series where we’re counter-programming against the way Valentine’s Day is often celebrated, and examining different kinds of relationships including romantic, friendship, and family.

Today’s guest hews a bit more closely to the traditional Valentine’s Day theme and will do some myth-busting around all the things we tend to get wrong when we talk about romantic relationships.

Myisha Battle is the author of the book, “This Is Supposed to Be Fun: How To Find Joy in Hooking Up, Settling Down, and Everything in Between.” She also hosts the podcast How’s Your Sex Life? Much of her public work focuses on the early stages of relationships, but in her private practice, she counsels people at all stages, and in all kinds of relationships.

Content Warning: Explicit language and conversations about sex.

In this episode we talk about:

Five ways to improve intimacy and connection in romantic partnership
The nuts and bolts of sex, and how we often get intimacy and sex confused in unhelpful ways
Understanding men’s and women’s cycles to depersonalize issues in sex and relationships
The myth of finding “the one”
The orgasm gap
Bromance
And if you’re looking, tips on how to make finding a partner easier

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/myisha-battle-archive

Where to find Myisha Battle online:

Website: www.myishabattle.com/

Social Media:

Book Mentioned:

This Is Supposed to Be Fun: How To Find Joy in Hooking Up, Settling Down, and Everything in Between

Other Resources Mentioned:

Alain de Botton’s Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person
The School of Life
#418. How Not to Ruin Your Relationships | Drs. John & Julie Gottman
#213: Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel
#464. How to Keep Friendships From Imploding | Esther Perel
Half the World Has a Clitoris. Why Don’t Doctors Study It?
Michael Vincent Miller’s Intimate Terrorism
Esther Perel’s Mating in Captivity

Additional Resources:

Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install