Leigh Cowart, a science journalist and author of "Hurts So Good: The Science and Culture of Pain on Purpose", dives deep into the intriguing world of masochism and pain. She reveals how pain can be transformed into pleasure and discusses the nuances of having a sadist's imagination. The conversation also touches on the societal implications of derogatory language, especially among youth, and hints at navigating intimate relationships, particularly the challenges of long-distance romance. Cowart’s insights are as enlightening as they are entertaining!
The podcast discusses the impact of using derogatory terms like 'That's so gay' on children's understanding of language and hurtfulness.
It highlights the complexities of intimacy in long-distance relationships, emphasizing the importance of addressing physical discomfort during intimacy.
The conversation with Leigh Cowart reveals the intricate relationship between pain and pleasure, particularly in the context of consensual masochism.
Deep dives
The Role of AI in Modern Relationships
The emergence of AI companions, like chatbots, has sparked discussions about their role in human relationships. A notable example includes an individual who created an AI boyfriend, which she described as a supplemental relationship alongside her marriage. This raises concerns about the comfort level individuals have in communicating with AI over their long-term partners. The situation reflects a potential disconnect within some intimate relationships, prompting societal reflections on emotional intimacy and the evolving role of technology in personal connections.
Communication Stages in Long-Term Partnerships
Three distinct stages of communication often characterize romantic relationships, impacting intimacy and openness. Initially, couples tend to withhold information to maintain attraction, as stakes feel high, moving to a phase where they share almost everything, fostering deep emotional bonds. Over time, however, the perceived risks escalate, resulting in a communication barrier where partners may censor their thoughts and feelings. This evolution can lead to a sense of disconnection, as partners struggle with what can be openly discussed without jeopardizing their relationship.
Navigating Emotional Challenges in Relationships
Being in a long-term relationship can lead to couples expressing frustration and often criticizing other partners’ relationships instead of addressing their own issues. This behavior may serve as a coping mechanism to redirect attention from insecurities within their bond. The speaker suggests that such tendencies might be a result of partners feeling stifled in their expressions towards one another due to unspoken fears of intimacy. Encouraging open dialogues and acknowledging the efforts partners make daily could help alleviate this emotional burden.
Limitations of Conventional Solutions
Despite recognizing the complexities of maintaining intimacy in relationships, the speaker admits the challenges are not easily solvable. Traditional suggestions often fail to address deeper communication issues that stem from long-term commitments. The notion that couples might benefit from engaging in recreational activities as a means to reconnect is explored, yet it is noted that these solutions offer only temporary respite. Instead, the speaker suggests that recognizing and appreciating the struggles inherent in partnerships may be more beneficial.
The Importance of Perspective in Relationships
In discussions about relationship dynamics, appreciating a partner's efforts becomes crucial to fostering a nurturing environment. The idea that partners might fear revealing their unfiltered emotions underscores the intricacies of long-term relationships. Recognizing the self-imposed limitations and the pressure to maintain harmony could allow couples to navigate their feelings more openly. By valuing transparency over apprehension, partners can build a more resilient foundation for their relationship, leading to healthier interactions moving forward.
"That's so gay!" So said a 10 year-old boy and got himself punished by the teacher who overheard him. The boy's father is calling for advice on how to explain why saying "That's so gay" as a pejorative is hurtful.
A man with a big ole wiener sees his long distance girlfriend once per month. When they see each other they go at it, with a frequency and intensity that will make many of you blush. The problem? It's causing her a lot of pain. Is there a way to make love, not lacerations?
Speaking of pain, Dan brings on Leigh Cowart, science journalist and author of "Hurts So Good: The Science and Culture of Pain on Purpose" They talk about masochism, how the experience of pain can be transmogrified into pleasure, how every masochist has a sadist's imagination, and finally- how to safely kick a man in the nuts. Cowart is such a superb thinker, and a delight to listen to. A little is on the Micro and the whole thing is on the Magnum.
And, in one of our all time weirdest calls, a married man with kids thinks he's having a psychic connection with someone he's met. The synchronicities are off the charts! Is he having some kind of profound spiritual flowering, or is it just garden variety mid-life crisis?
You decide.
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders + 2 FREE Dream Pillows! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.
This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.
This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com/Savage, and use the offer code Space80.
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