In this episode of Connected Parenting, I dive into a concept I call emotional glare—a phenomenon that every parent of a strong-willed, reactive child has likely experienced. If you have a sassy, feisty, gladiator child who seems to be in constant conflict with the world, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Emotional glare is what happens when you reflect back your child’s feelings, set limits, or share your own emotions—and instead of calming things down, it triggers an even bigger emotional explosion.
This episode unpacks why traditional parenting strategies often fail spectacularly with reactive children and offers solutions that actually work. We’ll explore ways to diffuse emotional glare, help your child build distress tolerance, and establish calm communication strategies that strengthen your relationship without escalating conflict.
Jennifer's Takeaways:
- Understanding Emotional Glare (00:00)
- Characteristics of Gladiator Kids (01:53)
- Common Parenting Strategies and Their Effects (04:08)
- The Calm Technique for Gladiator Kids (08:27)
- Handling Emotional Protests (12:10)
- Maintaining a Neutral Tone (14:51)
Meet Jennifer Kolari
Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.
Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.
Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.
Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.
One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).