Connected Parenting

I’ve had many requests from listeners asking for a refresher on the CALM Technique, and while I often direct people to earlier episodes, I think it’s time to go over it again.In this replay episode, we’ll break down how to use the CALM Technique effectively, especially when dealing with teenage boys, who can sometimes be a little more challenging to connect with.Whether you're parenting a fiery toddler, a sensitive pre-teen, or a moody adolescent, this episode will provide practical examples and real-life scenarios to help you de-escalate conflicts, improve communication, and strengthen your relationship with your child.|If your child isn’t a teen yet—don’t worry, they will be soon! And if you have daughters, this technique is universally helpful for all kids.Tune in for a deep dive into CALM and how to apply it in everyday parenting.In today’s episode, we’ll explore:Introduction to the Calm Technique and Oxytocin (00:00)The Four Steps of the Calm Technique (03:35)Scenarios and Practical Applications (08:25)Advanced Techniques and Tips (23:01)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

In this episode of Connected Parenting, we dive into a powerful visual and verbal tool that helps kids regulate their behavior and emotions called the "Stoplight Technique" (also known as Red Light, Green Light).As parents, one of our greatest challenges is guiding our kids through big feelings and impulsive behavior without losing our own cool. That’s where this simple yet effective method comes in.Listen in to hear me explain how the stoplight framework teaches children cause and effect, emotional regulation, and personal accountability, all in a way that’s age-appropriate and easy to apply at home or in the classroom.It gives them a clear visual anchor to understand what’s expected, and when things need to pause or shift.You’ll also learn how to modify the strategy for teenagers (because let’s be honest, a red light chart on the fridge might not go over so well at 15), and why this tool can be just as helpful for you as the parent.Whether your child struggles with emotional outbursts, transitions, or impulsive behavior, this episode offers a compassionate, practical way to build emotional intelligence together.Jennifer's Takeaways:Red Light, Green Light Technique Overview (00:00)Explanation of Red Light, Green Light Behaviors (01:05)Handling Yellow Light Behaviors (03:01)Applying the Technique to Teenagers (06:57)Using the Technique for Consistency and Flexibility (11:36)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

In today’s episode, I explore an important topic in modern parenting: the importance of struggle, and how easily it’s being lost in a world shaped by convenience, technology, and AI. While AI is part of the conversation, this episode goes deeper, focusing on what happens when children no longer get enough practice doing hard things.I explain why struggle is not a problem to eliminate, but a critical part of healthy brain development. When kids wrestle with challenges, frustration, effort, and uncertainty, they build resilience, problem-solving skills, emotional regulation, and confidence. These capacities don’t come from ease or shortcuts, they come from experience.The episode gently challenges the instinct to smooth the path too much for our children, especially when tools like AI can quickly remove discomfort. Throughout the conversation, the message is clear: kids don’t need life to be harder, but they do need meaningful struggle. When parents stay present, encouraging, and regulated, children learn that they can tolerate difficulty and come out stronger on the other side.Jennifer's Takeaways:The Importance of Struggle in Parenting (00:00)Understanding Dopamine and Its Role in Motivation (00:48)The Impact of Technology on Children's Motivation (03:37)The Concept of Optimal Frustration (05:33)The Role of AI in Education and Parenting (09:13)Building Resilience and Mental Health (14:13)The Importance of Valuing the Process Over the Outcome (14:50)The Role of Parents in Guiding Children's Development (19:44)The Impact of AI on Emotional Maturity and Resilience (19:56)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

Welcome to the first Connected Parenting episode of 2026.As we step into a new year, many parents are feeling something they don’t always say out loud: the world feels unsettling. It feels polarized, confusing, and at times frightening. Even when we try to protect our children from it, kids sense adult anxiety, uncertainty, and tension more than we realize.This episode is not about fixing the world or pretending everything is fine. Instead, it’s about coming back to what is within our reach as parents: connection, presence, and the small, powerful moments that shape emotionally healthy humans.The world doesn’t need perfect kids. It needs emotionally integrated, compassionate, resilient humans, and those are shaped through connection.Jennifer's Takeaways:New Year Reflections and Parenting Challenges (00:00)Children's Exposure to Information and Parental Responsiveness (01:31)Emotional Regulation and Self-Soothing (03:25)Concrete Ideas for Daily Connection (05:25)Reframing Parental Responses and Building Emotional Integration (05:46)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

In this episode of Connected Parenting, Jennifer unpacks why the holiday season, meant to feel magical, can so quickly become overwhelming for families, especially those with sensitive, strong-willed, neurodivergent, or easily dysregulated kids.Between packed schedules, disrupted routines, sugar highs, late nights, social expectations, and the pressure to “be cheerful,” many children experience a perfect storm of excitement and stress. And when kids become dysregulated, parents often follow.Jennifer explains how to hold both connection and containment, the warmth and playfulness of the season and the firm boundaries kids need to feel safe. You’ll learn why predictable rhythms matter, how to prevent meltdowns before they start, and how to support kids who struggle with transitions, sensory overload, or big emotions.Whether you’re navigating multiple family gatherings, disrupted routines, or a child who feels everything intensely, this episode helps you create holidays that feel meaningful instead of messy, and connected instead of chaotic.Jennifer's Takeaways:Holiday Challenges for Parents and Children (00:00)Impact of Holiday Disruptions on Children (02:35)Maintaining Structure and Routine (04:47)Practical Strategies for a Calm Holiday (05:28)Reframing Holiday Success and Final Thoughts (09:29)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

In today’s Q&A episode, I am answering two powerful parenting questions about teens who are anxious, withdrawn, or pushing parents away.Exploring how to support a 14-year-old who feels intense anxiety entering stores or public places, and why this “spotlight stage” is such a normal part of teen development. Listen in to hear me share how tools like the CALM Technique, predictability, rehearsal, and sensory anchors can reduce anticipatory fear and help anxious teens feel more regulated.We then look at how to communicate with a 15-year-old who shuts down or becomes easily irritated, and why teens often push away the feeling of being small rather than the parent themselves. I offer practical strategies like side-door conversations, low-pressure moments of connection, a warm neutral tone, and the 5:2 ratio to keep communication open and relationship-focused.This episode is a reassuring guide for any parent navigating anxious teens, withdrawn teens, or the normal developmental challenges of adolescence reminding you that connection and co-regulation are the bridge back to closeness.Jennifer's Takeaways:Q&A on Helping a 14-Year-Old with Anxiety (00:01)Strategies for Managing Anxiety in Public Places (04:46)Connecting with Teenagers: Side Door Conversations (09:05)Building Connection Through Proximity and Moments (15:13)Resources and Final Thoughts (18:12)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

Phones and AI aren’t going anywhere, so the goal isn’t to ban them, but to help our kids integrate them wisely. In this episode, we’ll explore how constant connectivity impacts a child’s ability to focus, plan, regulate emotions, and problem-solve. We’ll look at why kids and teens are especially vulnerable to the “instant relief” loop that phones provide, and how AI can both support and hinder their growing brains.Most importantly, we’ll talk about what parents can do: how to set boundaries that actually stick, how to preserve core executive functioning skills, and how to help your child build the resilience they’ll need in a world where technology is always within reach.Jennifer's Takeaways:Impact of Cell Phones and AI on Kids' Focus and Problem-Solving Skills (00:00)Challenges of Multitasking with Multiple Screens (02:46)Balancing AI Use with Critical Thinking Skills (03:50)The Role of Boredom in Developing Creativity (05:47)Teaching Kids to Use AI as a Coach, Not a Crutch (07:05)The Future of AI in Education and Parenting (08:09)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

One of the hardest moments for parents is when the child who used to tell you everything, who they sat with at lunch, who their friends were, what made them laugh suddenly starts saying less. The silence can feel alarming. Many parents immediately wonder: Are they hiding something? Did I do something wrong? Are they okay?But what if the quiet isn’t rejection? What if it’s part of growing up and becoming themselves?In this episode, we explore the difference between privacy and secrecy, how to recognize each, and why understanding this distinction can completely transform your relationship with your tween or teen. You’ll learn how to stay connected without crowding them, support their independence without losing emotional closeness, and navigate the shift from childlike openness to adolescent boundaries with more confidence and less fear.Jennifer's Takeaways:Understanding the Difference Between Privacy and Secrecy (00:00)The Role of Privacy in Teen Development (02:51)Balancing Parental Reactions and Teen Privacy (03:15)Handling Secrets and Alignment in Teens (05:28)Practical Tips for Parents on Managing Privacy (07:22)The Importance of Connection in Parenting (09:33)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

When your child’s emotions, reactions, and struggles all feel bigger than you can handle, it can be exhausting. But there’s one thing that truly changes everything: connection.In this episode, we’ll explore how deep, genuine connection helps regulate a child’s nervous system, reduces explosive moments, and strengthens emotional safety. Because when kids feel seen, understood, and safe, even their most intense storms begin to settle.Jennifer's Takeaways:Understanding ADHD and Its Impact on Parenting (00:00)The Role of Skills vs. Medication in ADHD Management (02:44)Applying the Calm Technique for ADHD Kids (04:39)Handling Doom Piles and Overwhelm (07:49)Reframing ADHD Strengths and Balancing Empathy with Limits (14:27)The Importance of Connection and Regulation in Parenting (16:48)Medication and Its Role in ADHD Management (19:12)Conclusion and Resources for Parents (22:32)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

Even the closest families move through seasons of connection. There are times when everyone feels in sync, laughing easily, sharing space, and understanding each other without words. And then there are moments when it feels like you’re speaking different languages, missing each other’s cues, or simply running on separate frequencies.In this episode, we’ll explore why those quieter or more distant seasons happen and how to keep your family’s love steady through them. You’ll learn what causes those natural fluctuations in closeness, how to recognize when it’s just a temporary rhythm versus something deeper, and practical ways to reconnect with calm and compassion.Because real closeness isn’t about being perfectly attuned all the time, it’s about staying anchored in love, even when connection feels thin.Jennifer's Takeaways:Family Closeness and Relationship Dynamics (00:00)Understanding and Managing Emotional Reactions (03:31)Self-Reflection and Identifying Personal Triggers (07:27)The Power of Interpretation and Control in Relationships (08:28)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).