The High Performance Podcast Stop Chasing Perfection: A Therapeutic Take on Success with Alain de Botton, Philosopher
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Oct 17, 2025 
Alain de Botton, a prominent philosopher and the founder of The School of Life, radically redefines success in this engaging discussion. He encourages embracing our ordinariness as a source of liberation and explores how envy can illuminate our hidden potential. Alain delves into the concepts of true and false self, the necessity of emotional literacy, and why crises may be an invitation to seek balance. He also emphasizes kindness, both to ourselves and others, as essential for meaningful relationships and fulfillment.
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Embrace Ordinary As Wisdom
- Accepting your averageness is the start of wisdom and frees you from a malignant insistence on specialness.
- Excessive desire for fame often compensates for early feelings of invisibility and creates an arms race for distinction.
Why True Self Gets Locked Out
- Much of our inner life stays unconscious because we fear what we'll discover when alone with ourselves.
- Winnicott's true self/false self model explains how early suppression creates a false self to gain acceptance.
Moderate Extremes To Prevent Breakdowns
- Notice if you swing to extremes: the manic rebel or the manic people-pleaser, and how both harm you.
- Avoid rigid patterns; allow truth out gradually to prevent breakdowns that force honesty.
