Being Human Episode 261: Narcissism and the Terror of Being Ordinary: Why Real Change Happens through Love not Willpower
Jan 13, 2026
Explore the hidden dynamics of narcissism as Dr. Greg reveals that willpower alone isn't enough for real change. Delve into the concept of 'the terror of being ordinary,' highlighting the anxiety behind grandiosity and the role of conditional love in shaping narcissistic traits. Greg discusses the importance of understanding blind spots and how relationships serve as mirrors for self-discovery. He emphasizes that healing requires deeper work, not just external support, pointing towards paths of insight and personal growth.
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Why Willpower Rarely Creates Lasting Change
- Willpower alone fails because complex internal parts reorganize and resist superficial change.
- Finding and addressing blind spots lets you change the foundation rather than rearrange managers.
Blind Spots Are Survival Mechanisms
- Blind spots are protected parts of the psyche that hide unbearable feelings to protect survival.
- A relational mirror from another person often reveals blind spots so real healing can begin.
The Terror Of Being Ordinary
- Narcissistic patterns arise from a terror of being ordinary and fear of nonexistence if not special.
- Such people often double down on grandiosity rather than admit flaws or seek compassionate change.