Life Coaching with Christine Hassler 20: How to Let Go of the Past
If you were to write out your autobiography with the early chapters being on your past and the middle chapters representing the present, what would you change about your current story to get the ending (your future) to turn out just the way you want it to? Would you allow bitterness to leak into your later chapters or would you embrace forgiveness of yourself and those who may have hurt you?
It’s never too late to drop old belief systems and ‘un-program’ yourself. It’s never too late to change. Living as a victim means you do not want to take full responsibility for your life. Becoming the most authentic version of yourself will happen when you move through the process of forgiveness. It will set you free and allow you to live fully in the present.
Today’s caller, Miranda, needed her story to be heard free of judgment and from a place of compassion. She believed she needed to behave a certain way in order to receive love. Her compensatory strategy of being a caretaker, a rescuer, and a people pleaser was attracting toxic people into her life and not bringing her the love she desired.
People in your past can no longer be an excuse for why you don’t have what you want in your present.
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Consider/Ask Yourself:
- What are you still holding on to from your past that is impacting your present and creating your future?
- How does Miranda’s story mirror your own?
- When it comes to getting romantic love, what do you have to do or need to be in order to get it?
- Is there someone you need to forgive?
Miranda’s Question:
Miranda is having trouble letting go of the past and finding forgiveness. She feels she has alienated everyone important in her life with her bitterness.
Miranda’s Key Insights and Aha’s:
- She should acknowledge her blessings
- She is attracting toxic people because it’s the only type of love she knows
- She has made massive judgments about her own choices
- She tries to get love by being a victim
- She doesn’t know how to forgive
How to get over it and on with it:
- Update your own programming
- She needs to forgive everyone in her life including herself
- Find spiritual altitude
- Start being nicer to herself
- Work through the behavioral exercises in Expectation Hangover
Tools and Takeaways:
- Identify your compensatory strategy and shift it
- Understand the payoffs to the behaviors you don’t like
- Who do you think you need to forgive?
- Make a list of your gifts, of all the things you truly love about yourself and make that your new story
- Know that your past does not need to dictate the present
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