“How can my child be a rule follower if they always say no to the family rules?” Leslie often catches parents off guard by suggesting that their child may actually be a rule follower. In this episode, Leslie has a conversation with her daughter Dale about what it’s like to grow up as a rule follower. In this episode Leslie and Dale explore the many traits that are often associated with the rule-following child such as perfectionism and intense focus on fairness. Assessing whether you or your child is a rule-follower may not be so obvious but may be critically important to understanding their behavior and ways of thinking. This conversation pulls back the curtain on what really goes on in the mind of the rule-following child.

Time Stamps

• 2:40 The importance of knowing your child and knowing what it means to be a rule follower
• 3:37 What “rule-followers” get out of following the rules
• 10:07 Being careful not to reinforce the child’s need to do everything perfectly
• 10:36 Helping your children practice being uncomfortable
• 17:56 The need for flexible thinking
• 26:12 Keep an eye out for when a child has an obsession with fairness
• 29:12 Advice for parents who have children who are rigid rule followers

Show Note Links:

• Free virtual Q&A with Leslie August 21st, 8 PM EST
• “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” by Carol Dweck

Leslie-ism: Flexible thinking takes practice.

For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie’s work on Facebook,  Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.

Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O’Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.