The Dr. Psych Mom Show with clinical psychologist Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten

When You're Trapped In The "Victim-Perpetrator" View Of Your Previous Relationship, You Can't Move On

Oct 4, 2024
Recovering from a tough breakup can be incredibly challenging. The emotional journey involves grappling with grief and reflecting on past feelings. Exploring the victim-perpetrator dynamic sheds light on how blame can hinder healing. It emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and understanding one’s role in relationship patterns. By confronting these issues, individuals can foster personal growth and ultimately move forward in a healthier way.
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INSIGHT

Two Paths After Breakup

  • Picking a partner and staying with them offers two paths: blaming them or owning your contribution.
  • Blaming hinders growth, affects children negatively, and is dishonest; owning your part promotes growth.
INSIGHT

Victim Identity

  • People often enter therapy blaming their ex, framing themselves as victims.
  • This "victim" identity prevents growth and healing.
ADVICE

Self-Reflection

  • Examine why you were fighting with your partner, and your role in those conflicts.
  • Consider your upbringing and expectations for relationships.
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