The Dangers of a Thought-Work Only Approach in Coaching: My Story
This week on the podcast, I'm diving deep into a topic that's close to my heart—how a thought-work only approach to coaching can be not just limiting but downright detrimental. Trust me, I don't use the word "detrimental" lightly. It's a strong term, and I'm here to unpack why I believe it's crucial to broaden our understanding of transformation beyond mere thought management.
The most important message I can give to coaches about thought work
Typically, I like to keep my energy positive, but today's message carries a weight that I can't ignore. Too many mindset coaches are feeling frustrated with their thoughts, emotionally activated, or caught in a cycle of self-criticism that no amount of "mind management" seems to alleviate. If you've ever sensed that something is missing in a thought-work-only approach—whether for yourself or your clients—you are sensing something important.
I've been in that dark place personally and coached dozens of people who found themselves there too. I've witnessed firsthand how an overly simplistic focus on thoughts can lead to critical self-judgment and emotional distress. While it's always been a priority for me to help my clients soften that harsh internal dialogue and create safe practices, I'm speaking out now more than ever about what every coach must know.
The Evolution of My Understanding
While I've touched on elements of this topic in the past, this week, I'm taking a stand. If you believe that thoughts are everything when it comes to transformation, it's time to reconsider. Yes, changing your thoughts is powerful. But when we use thought work in isolation, it can also be damaging. This thought work only perspective neglects vital scientific insights about how our thoughts, emotions, and nervous systems interact.
If you're feeling a bit of resistance to what I'm saying, that's okay. I understand. I once fully embraced the notion that all problems stemmed from thoughts. While I saw incredible transformations during my early coaching years, it wasn't long before I began noticing adverse effects among my clients. At first, I attributed these to a "misuse" of thought work. But the reality was more complex.
Understanding the Whole Person vs. a Thought Work Only approach
The key takeaway here is simple yet profound: not all feelings arise from thoughts. Emotions have their own narratives and are often stored within our bodies, carrying important messages. The nervous system plays a crucial role in this interplay, and a "thoughts create feelings" perspective ignores that. In fact, 80% of messages travel from our bodies to our brains, not the other way around.
For example, a sympathetic nervous system response can hijack your thinking, shutting down your prefrontal cortex—the part of your brain responsible for rational thought. This is why relying solely on thought work can backfire. Ignoring the emotional and physiological aspects of our experiences can heighten trauma responses and create a cycle of cognitive bypassing.
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